Living Rarefied

Katie has done a wonderful job making this video..  I just got a link from her.

VIDEO

Ethan Daily, testing

There are amazing people in your world. We can be so close to friendship with them and have no idea.

A friend I met on the trip had been on the same support team as me at the Upper Room, the extent of how much we interacted were comments like this. "Where does this go? Not sure, ask Joe." or "Hey great job, see you next week." On the trip and in the short time after I am beginning to see the story that makes up this guy. What makes him tick, what is going on in his head as he breaks down what life is going to look like for him after this El Salvador experience. I am anxious to spend more time with him.
Some others that were close by were a few from a weekend retreat last November. I knew them as names and friendly faces, thats it. I wish I had taken the time to jump out of my comfort zone of the friends I came with to experience life with them.

Another friend I got to know on this trip I first saw sometime early this spring. Steve Weins was giving on February 26th a message about integrity where we ended the time together by going up to big boards on the stage with markers and wrote a word/phrase about ourselves that maybe our image doesn't show. The word I wrote on the board was "lonely". I remember really wrestling with that because of the truth to it, and the fact I had just wrote it in front of 1000+ people. Not everybody could read it as i wrote, but i am sure a few saw it. I remember seeing this person who had sat in front of me alone, after the service standing alone in thought. I remember walking towards this new friend of mine to initiate a conversation, only to be called out by somebody who isn't much more than an aquaintance but helps mask that loneliness I wrote about and I aborted the mission of striking up a conversation with this person. The sad thing is I cannot tell you what the conversation was about that called me away from this person. Was it worth it? Here I sit almost 6 months later and am only now beginning to know this friend. In those 6 months struggles have fallen on my friend, some difficult decisions were made on my end and 1 week in July this stranger was on my team I was leading in El Salvador.

There are other small stories of people I am beginning to experience life with that I am thankful about. These are just a few of the stories that are screaming out to me, what if you would've made a better effort to initiate with them when you first had the chance! Would the stranger have wanted somebody to talk to that night? I know I needed a conversation I could remember. Would my support-team friend and I gotten along if we only talked more while we worked? Or was it the experience we had together in El Salvador that drew out a friendship in a more communal way. Would my retreat friends lasted had I shared more time with them that weekend and after that, or would they have faded.

As much as it kills me to say it was better to become friends on this trip, I think it says something about the power of being in community. Had we talked more and gotten to know each other months, years ago, would the friendships be where they are today and more excitingly, where they are going! I hate "what ifs" cause I feel we are called to live in the present and not dwell on what if this had happened instead. It slows us down from living full lives with those we are with now.
I am so thankful for these new friendships…

Ethan Community, Daily, Feeling

re-entry to the matrix, I will be posting a few of my responses to my time in El Salvador as I process them.

We live in a world we don't know.  We live in a world that is for the most part, clouded from reality.  I just spent a week with 28 people who are now friends in El Salvador and experienced some powerful moments. These moments may happen here, but most of the time we are too busy to notice or aren't ready to receive them.

I didn't interact with many children this week, only Manuel at our sponsorship party (more on that later).  But at our worksite because of the lack of kids my eyes were opened to some special things.  Our head construction guy, the master builder Antonio (who was our master builder 2 years ago) had his son working alongside him.  Benedicto was 28.  Seeing these two work together as 1 was amazing.  Antonio would teach Benedicto things and Benedicto would also show his dad a thing or 2.  At the end of the days we spent with them, I took 2 poloroids of the 2 of them.  One for each.  The reaction that followed was something I can't even try to write about.  They kept putting their picture, which was the same in front of each other pointing at things and smiles and joy peeked through 2 fairly serious men.  As we walked away they continued to look at them and I could feel the presence of the moment as I walked back to our bus.

A lot of times we assume its always gonna be the father that teaches the son.  I learned that for it to be a true relationship, this needs to be a 2-way street.  Otherwise the son is nothing other than a protege, a student of the father.

I am trying to figure out what this looks like in my life with my dad.  I am thankful for our relationship and hope that I am teaching him a thing or 2.  Also trying to figure out how that works in my relationship with the Heavenly Father.  Not that I can teach him anything, but that I am interacting and loving as if I am teaching him.

Ethan Feeling

Tomorrow morning @ 5:00 AM I will be on a flight with 27 others from my community journying to El Salvador.  I am physically and mentally exhausted from my trip to Colorado last week and this week at work trying to cram everything in.  Haven't even packed yet.  I think as soon as I get on that plane, it will click and it will be game time.

2 things i hope

• Trip will be filled with different experiences than i had in 2004.  I don't want to focus on "I remember this, or that"  or "I was feeling this or that last time".  I want fresh perspective on this trip or I am no better off than sitting on a couch here in MN reminiscing about the 2004 trip.
• Leave things from home at home.  I have to bring my phone for work.  I just hope it doesnt ring.  This is the 2nd of 3 weeks i will be gone and being the only technology guy at the office puts pressure on me in times like this if things go off course.  Friendships, relationships, struggles I want to leave here. I want to focus on the new relationships and the new people and their stories.  I don't want to be thinking about what so and so is thinking about me while I am in conversation with a new friend.  That would be a disservice to them.

Ethan Feeling

I am in shock with the amount of masks kids put on.  I knew there were a few each kid had. But this last week in Colorado has shown me they have closets and closets full of masks to hide behind.

We took a few of these masks away during the week of camp, iPods, cellphones, PSPs, etc.   The whole bus ride out to camp, was fighting, bickering, just unhappy people exchanging words between txt msgs or songs.  Upon reaching the camp, we collected each of them.  Or attempted to.  Kids are stashing them in each others bags to hide them away cause they need them so bad.

Once they were free from the thought of not getting them back until the trip home, they actually began to experience each other.  The 33 students who were cliqued up in the bus all actually got to know each other for who they are and not for the fact they were being too loud and having that define the person.
Could you imagine a camp with kids walking around with earbuds in and text-messaging all day with no real conversations?  Kinda sounds like it is in their real world.
Sad note.. As soon as the electronics were passed back.  Almost instantly they reverted back to fighting about seats, about txt messages that so and so sent them while they were gone and how they got screwed becuase they couldn't response.  We didnt let them recharge anything.. So once they died out.. Real conversations were had…

Ethan Feeling, Surprise Me

Learned a big big lesson of patience last week in Colorado.  A student I have known for over 4 years and prayed for and repeatedly have said "I'm here for you whenever you need me", finally came to me with some real stuff…  His life when I am not around.  I have now had 3 of the best conversations in the last 3 days with him and he wants to continue to dialogue.  I am going to challenge him to think differently than he has in the past about these "things".

What a great feeling that when you think its getting too late in their HS days that it isn't too late.

Ethan testing

Tad & Ali

they are wonderful people, very nice and now hope to maybe hang out with them or bbq or something soon.  But it was a great feeling to finally meet them.

here was my original post

Ethan testing

I watched the final game last night of the NBA finals.  I don't care much about NBA basketball, I will go to games, they can be fun if you are in good company.  But I stopped caring about pro basketball years ago.  I can imagine some chess matches that finish with a better/faster pace than last nights game.  From fouls to timeouts, the last 25 seconds of the game took a good 5 minutes to play out!

Another thing I cannot stand about NBA basketball is the officiating, I saw phantom calls all night, or a hand brushing a chest of a player as they drive the lane followed quickly by a whistle…  Where's the sport in that?  Is it a sport because the player with the ball has the right of way to the hoop and if somebody even thinks about challenging them its gonna be a foul.  Come on.. these guys have to be tougher than that.  They are some of the worlds largest men, they are all in great shape, very strong athletes…

They get paid insane amounts of money to be over-protected and create an environment about as entertaining as me watching 10 people go 5-on-5 in a scarf knitting competition.

Look at hockey, these guys are getting paid about 10-50% of what NBA players are getting paid.  They are getting the life kicked out of them day in and out.  Carolina's Erik Cole in game 6 got knocked pretty hard.. Had to go to the lockerroom quickly… He was disoriented, didnt know where he was, vomited a little and got back out there and played.  There was no foul called on the play, no penalty.  It was a legal hit and the game played on.

NBA: my suggestion.. Let the guys play a little more, stop favoring the individual stars, and put some "sport" back into what you call a sport…

Ethan testing

There is a free video of Bono and Brian Williams from NBC about Bono's hopes in Africa.  This is a limited download, if its not free, it is still worth the $1.99 download.

CLICK HERE TO LAUNCH IT

Ethan testing

"When 20 golfers hang out together, is it a gang? No. But when 20 people wearing jerseys hang out, then automatically they have to be up to something"

Interesting quoute eh?

Ethan testing