Today marks 1 year of being sober…
Surprisingly, yesterday was the first day in a year where the idea/thought of having a drink didn't enter my head. I couln't really count the 12th as day 1 last year because Saturday night spilled into early Sunday. And because I am a little OCD on being exact on my dates, today is the full day…
Has been on my mind… Scott is a homeless man who has been coming into my local Caribou lately to sip some coffee and warm up.
My goal is to engage in a conversation with Scott.. Maybe give him a Caribou Card, although the girl working there gives him free coffee… Time will tell, I don't want to be upfront and act like I would be there to help in a "Christian" way that may turn him off, but to be there for conversation and love in a "Jesus" way.
Scott hasn't been in the last 2 days. When its below 0 and windy I wonder about those who survive on the streets, and those who don't… I guess I never have thought about those without shelter so closely. I was cold last night because I turn my thermostat down to 60 to conserve energy and money…
I hope you're doing ok Scott…
Here's something to jot down in your notebooks about me…
Don't ever think about overpromising me and underdelivering! That's one of the hardest things for me to grasp about people.. Just be honest! If you can't do something, tell me. If you can't get it done on time, tell me. If you aren't sure, tell me you aren't sure and I won't rely on you!!!
But don't try to make me happy by saying what you think I want to hear… I actually want to hear the truth! I promise that you can never upset me off by telling me the truth from the get go!
BE HONEST!!!
Getting out of the “I know the story and the facts� comfort zone that we so easily fall into with our theology and our ideas and opinions.
I just finished reading a book called “Chasing after God Knows What.� By Donald Miller.
A point in his stories struck a chord in my heart as of late. He talked about a class that he taught for students at seminary. He told them he was going to spend the class teaching the gospels and he was going to leave a big part of it out.
He said man was sinful, about how the wages of sin is death…talked about heaven and how great it would be to walk on the streets of gold.. How God will provide for them in relationships, finances and in comfort. He quoted many passages from the bible.
He asked the class what he left out and it was silence… After 10 minutes or so of silence he told the class he didn’t mention Jesus’ name…
The idea here is that in our society, people believe they go to Heaven based on whether they are morally pure or not, or that they understand the theological topics like those he discussed in his teachings to the class.. Or if they are very spiritual.. If they light candles and do spiritual things… To society a relationship with Jesus is completely unnecessary.
But if we are to believe the story of the cross and all the pain and suffering Jesus went through on his way to the cross and on the cross and through to all of the good news that is a result of the cross. I think He's kind of a big deal then?
I used to think knowledge was the key to faith. To eat up all the words I could about religion. Then in May, I met a man named Steve who explained some facts about sheep.
In Psalm 23,
"The LORD is my shepherd; I shall not be in want. He makes me lie down in green pastures, he leads me beside quiet waters, he restores my soul."
And then we are called to take care of Jesus’ sheep in John 21. Jesus' sheep is you and me.
Again Jesus said, “Simon son of John, do you truly love me?� He answered, “Yes, Lord, you know that I love you.� Jesus said, “Take care of my sheep.�
Sheep need to lie down to digest the food they have eaten, if they don’t, they will eat and eat and eat until they die…
This emphasized the importance of digesting information you know. Wrestle with the stories you have heard, the ones that bother you, excite you… Digest and only then will you be ready for more. So this part is to show the importance of knowing the stories and the gospels and the facts. But that isn't it.
I see the importance shifting this way… Miller asked his class this, so I will ask you this… If you like a girl.. or a guy, what is the first thing you would need to do to fall in love with them?
Get to know them… that would be a good start… Asking others questions about them doesn't do much, reading their blog doesn't do much, you'll never make any ground unless you spend time with them and passionately seek a relationship with them. I don't think love cannot happen without the last part.
Think about people who think they know you but they don’t. People know about how I played college golf at the U of M, but that doesn’t mean they know me right? People read my blog and hear my thoughts, but that doesn’t mean they know me right? That gives them information about me, a starting block to know me but its not the end. They need to have a relationship and spend time with me to get to know me. I know Jesus performed some amazing miracles, gave some amazing sermons… and that is all great to know.. But that doesn’t mean I “know him� it is a means for an attraction to get to know him.
What good is it to get a man to read a tract, clean up his act so 50 years later he will die a well behaved man who had some extra knowledge. But if he doesn't experience a relationship with Jesus, all you have is 1 more well behaved person, 1 more "good" person.
Ever think about how light always beats darkness? I was thinking about this over the weekend… I was up at Young Life camp in Detroit Lakes, MN and very var removed from city lights and the glow of the Twin Cities. It was pretty dark. But as I walked around I noticed the even in that level of darknes, light always wins…
What happens if you take a flashlight to the darkest corner you can think of… Light reveals what is in that corner and takes over the dark.. This happens every time, no matter the corner or no matter how dark the corner is (ranging from only a little dark to pitch black)
That's probably why nobody has invented a "flashdark" it wouldnt work because you cant shine dark on light.. Light always wins! Dark only can exist when you neglect to allow light into those areas. But as soon as you want to expose that, light wins…
All of this ties back to Ephesians 5. About a year ago I started spending time in Ephesians 5. Verses 15-18 spoke out to me. As a follower of Jesus, and the idea that we are the body of Christ, and then reading these verses, really made me think about my actions. Just like the president of the country or your company, his/her actions reflect the image of the company/country. So mine reflect Jesus. Were my decisions wise or unwise? Was I making the most of every opportunity? Was I foolish? Was I listening to God's will or was my will louder? Was I getting drunk on wine or being filled with the Spirit instead?
Answers… Uniwse more than wise, sometimes, yes, mine, not only on wine but all sort of other booze, not as much as I would like to be…
I saw verse 18 and a picture of me next to it. I wasn't the animal I was in college… But I also wasn't the scared to get in trouble kid I was in high school either… So I started with alcohol, it would be the first thing I would expose to the light. This was a tough thing to do.. I mean drinking is so cool isn't it? I found out I was made to "believe" it was cool.
So for the past 336 days, I have been on a different journey than before. There has been days where it has started to cloud up, started to rain a little and grow a little darker.. But resting in the fact that light always wins and has won every day for the past 336 days gets me to the next day, hoping for it to clear up and eventually knowing that a little light sparks a little more light and soon things will be at their brightest again..
Light wins and is winning…
APPENDIX A: Vaccuum tubes dont count in the light/darkness analogy
Self esteem is pretty low today, way below its 50 and 200-day moving average…
I feel like a company who just released bad earnings and my stock is tumbling…
Why is it that I can write web applications that consist of 50,000+ lines of code and get them to work perfectly and completely understand each and every line and what it does? When something goes wrong, I can pinpoint the root of the problem and fix it within minutes. But I cannot figure out things I deal with on a daily basis, and I can't even begin to know the root of problems or even if they are problems. I don't even know if they are my problems or if the pressure I put on myself makes them my problems.
A storm came in today, before the
race started…
It was too rainy to run the race.
It was rain like I had never seen before.It was honest rain.It was a rain that I need to seek God about. I need to see where He wants me to
seek shelter.
I am still anxious and excited to take part in the race. I am not sure when this race will happen. I need to seek God for the starting time…
I felt confident in starting the race now, but know and trust that I will be better prepared when the time comes for the race to start…
Yesterday I had a phone conversation with a friend in the morning, it caught me off guard and in the middle of my morning grind at work. We hadn't chatted in awhile so I wanted to chat, but at the same time I didn't because I had a ton of items on my plate.
My attitude came off as "i dont care about you right now" Instead of going the easy route and more polite route of asking if I can call back a few hours later when I am not so busy, I remained on the line giving one-line answers, not asking questions and asking myself when will I be off the phone…
This stirred in my head all day, it wasn't at the front, but close enough that it constantly bothered me…
I almost went to sleep without resolving it, but I broke down my stubborness and called with a simple apology, that my attitude didn't reflect my views of my friend, but rather I should've asked to call back at a better time. Nothing huge, but admitting I was wrong. That was the hard part.
THe next event that happened was very strange. My mind/mood took a turn and felt as if I had just been lifted off the beach on a running parasail start. Once the boat hits its speed it is a quick reverse parabolic move up to the peak… It was a great feeling, almost wanting to call the person back thanking them… But alas, it was time for be for both of us…
Came across these verses today, its what I have been thinking about a bit as I dive into his arms and hands of control…
Luke 9:57-62 (NIV)
57 As they were walking along the road, a man said to him, "I will follow you wherever you go."
58 Jesus replied, "Foxes have holes and birds of the air have nests, but the Son of Man has no place to lay his head."
59 He said to another man, "Follow me." But the man replied, "Lord, first let me go and bury my father."
60 Jesus said to him, "Let the dead bury their own dead, but you go and proclaim the kingdom of God."
61 Still another said, "I will follow you, Lord; but first let me go back and say good bye to my family."
62 Jesus replied, "No one who puts his hand to the plow and looks back is fit for service in the kingdom of God."
We always say our priorities are God, Family, Friends, Work… I guess that is ideal.., But it is practiced? Would you really leave your family to follow if forced to? Or would you pass an opportunity to follow so you can say goodbye to your family?
It is a hard one… I am pretty attached to my family and would hope I could walk away to follow the Lord as instructed, but I hope that time never comes.
It would be the ultimate test, I fear that I would not be fit for service in the kingdom of God if that time came… I guess I would hope my family has heard these words from Jesus it would be easier to understand…
Saw this movie last night… I struggled…
5 years ago I would've been fired up for this stuff, guns, bombs, missiles, tanks, you name it, it was in the movie…
Without giving the play by play, I would just say that this movie along with some other books I have read really makes me ask questions about our government. The movie brings up a good point of the ideas that gun-runners are actually politicians… I struggle with the fact we have a great relationship with the Saudi's and their oil, and one reason is that we've provided arms and they have provided crude and building contracts for us to send American companies over to build the facilities to process and transport the crude.
Opening quote from the movie… there are over 550 million guns in the world, that makes it 1 for every 12 people… The question isn't how to make that number smaller, its how to arm the other 11…
Its a blood curdling statement, but isnt it the truth?
Along with "Crash", this is the 2nd movie this week with no special effects, no fake technology, no wow factors other than reality… But in both movies, they are pretty unreal, but real when you think about them and how true they are… You just dont want to believe its true…
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