Living Rarefied

Getting out of the “I know the story and the facts� comfort zone that we so easily fall into with our theology and our ideas and opinions.

I just finished reading a book called “Chasing after God Knows What.� By Donald Miller.

A point in his stories struck a chord in my heart as of late. He talked about a class that he taught for students at seminary. He told them he was going to spend the class teaching the gospels and he was going to leave a big part of it out.

He said man was sinful, about how the wages of sin is death…talked about heaven and how great it would be to walk on the streets of gold.. How God will provide for them in relationships, finances and in comfort. He quoted many passages from the bible.

He asked the class what he left out and it was silence… After 10 minutes or so of silence he told the class he didn’t mention Jesus’ name…

The idea here is that in our society, people believe they go to Heaven based on whether they are morally pure or not, or that they understand the theological topics like those he discussed in his teachings to the class.. Or if they are very spiritual.. If they light candles and do spiritual things… To society a relationship with Jesus is completely unnecessary.

But if we are to believe the story of the cross and all the pain and suffering Jesus went through on his way to the cross and on the cross and through to all of the good news that is a result of the cross. I think He's kind of a big deal then?

I used to think knowledge was the key to faith. To eat up all the words I could about religion. Then in May, I met a man named Steve who explained some facts about sheep.

In Psalm 23,

"The LORD is my shepherd; I shall not be in want. He makes me lie down in green pastures, he leads me beside quiet waters, he restores my soul."

And then we are called to take care of Jesus’ sheep in John 21. Jesus' sheep is you and me.

Again Jesus said, “Simon son of John, do you truly love me?� He answered, “Yes, Lord, you know that I love you.� Jesus said, “Take care of my sheep.�

Sheep need to lie down to digest the food they have eaten, if they don’t, they will eat and eat and eat until they die…

This emphasized the importance of digesting information you know. Wrestle with the stories you have heard, the ones that bother you, excite you… Digest and only then will you be ready for more. So this part is to show the importance of knowing the stories and the gospels and the facts. But that isn't it.

I see the importance shifting this way… Miller asked his class this, so I will ask you this… If you like a girl.. or a guy, what is the first thing you would need to do to fall in love with them?

Get to know them… that would be a good start… Asking others questions about them doesn't do much, reading their blog doesn't do much, you'll never make any ground unless you spend time with them and passionately seek a relationship with them. I don't think love cannot happen without the last part.

Think about people who think they know you but they don’t. People know about how I played college golf at the U of M, but that doesn’t mean they know me right? People read my blog and hear my thoughts, but that doesn’t mean they know me right? That gives them information about me, a starting block to know me but its not the end. They need to have a relationship and spend time with me to get to know me. I know Jesus performed some amazing miracles, gave some amazing sermons… and that is all great to know.. But that doesn’t mean I “know him� it is a means for an attraction to get to know him.

What good is it to get a man to read a tract, clean up his act so 50 years later he will die a well behaved man who had some extra knowledge. But if he doesn't experience a relationship with Jesus, all you have is 1 more well behaved person, 1 more "good" person.

Ethan Feeling, Surprise Me

Ever think about how light always beats darkness? I was thinking about this over the weekend… I was up at Young Life camp in Detroit Lakes, MN and very var removed from city lights and the glow of the Twin Cities. It was pretty dark. But as I walked around I noticed the even in that level of darknes, light always wins…

What happens if you take a flashlight to the darkest corner you can think of… Light reveals what is in that corner and takes over the dark.. This happens every time, no matter the corner or no matter how dark the corner is (ranging from only a little dark to pitch black)

That's probably why nobody has invented a "flashdark" it wouldnt work because you cant shine dark on light.. Light always wins! Dark only can exist when you neglect to allow light into those areas. But as soon as you want to expose that, light wins…

All of this ties back to Ephesians 5. About a year ago I started spending time in Ephesians 5. Verses 15-18 spoke out to me. As a follower of Jesus, and the idea that we are the body of Christ, and then reading these verses, really made me think about my actions. Just like the president of the country or your company, his/her actions reflect the image of the company/country. So mine reflect Jesus. Were my decisions wise or unwise? Was I making the most of every opportunity? Was I foolish? Was I listening to God's will or was my will louder? Was I getting drunk on wine or being filled with the Spirit instead?

Answers… Uniwse more than wise, sometimes, yes, mine, not only on wine but all sort of other booze, not as much as I would like to be…

I saw verse 18 and a picture of me next to it. I wasn't the animal I was in college… But I also wasn't the scared to get in trouble kid I was in high school either… So I started with alcohol, it would be the first thing I would expose to the light. This was a tough thing to do.. I mean drinking is so cool isn't it? I found out I was made to "believe" it was cool.

So for the past 336 days, I have been on a different journey than before. There has been days where it has started to cloud up, started to rain a little and grow a little darker.. But resting in the fact that light always wins and has won every day for the past 336 days gets me to the next day, hoping for it to clear up and eventually knowing that a little light sparks a little more light and soon things will be at their brightest again..

Light wins and is winning…

APPENDIX A: Vaccuum tubes dont count in the light/darkness analogy

Ethan Community, Feeling, Surprise Me

Self esteem is pretty low today, way below its 50 and 200-day moving average…

I feel like a company who just released bad earnings and my stock is tumbling…

Why is it that I can write web applications that consist of 50,000+ lines of code and get them to work perfectly and completely understand each and every line and what it does? When something goes wrong, I can pinpoint the root of the problem and fix it within minutes. But I cannot figure out things I deal with on a daily basis, and I can't even begin to know the root of problems or even if they are problems. I don't even know if they are my problems or if the pressure I put on myself makes them my problems.

Ethan Feeling, Surprise Me

My mind has lots to say today.. Too much to write, I should hold a press conference.

I saw some old friends from a band I worked with a few years back. They volunteered their services for a benefit that was thrown last night. On top of that, I found that one of the members who is from New Orleans, has gone back there to help with the cleanup efforts. When he isn't playing music, he cleans carpets and also is a water-damage expert. So he told me he's been down there working, he also told me about the amount of money there is to be made down there… Wide opened eyes I had when I heard that number and even wider when he said he's been doing some of his jobs for free because he knows a lot of the residents have lost so much, and spending thousands of dollars may not be in everybody's budget. Its very humbling to see somebody aware of the financial possibilities and not taking advantage of an uncontrollable disaster…

Been thinking about a guy I ran into last night.. The bathroom attendant at the place where the benefit was. I can't confirm this, but have a pretty good suspicion that not many people give him the time of day. I'd imagine they think "oh man, I have to tip this guy?" when they walk in.. I did. But as I was taking care of my business before interacting with him I thought,"He is providing a service, just as I do at my job, just as the CEO of a major company does, just as a movie star does, and as their hair & makeup artists do. Why is there a negative thought in my head when I walked in?" I am glad I had the extra time to think about it before I interacted with him. He was a very nice man, really enjoyed where he was. I am wrestling with why i thought what I thought in the first place.

Another guy in my heart is a neighborhood dad. Sometimes I like running a little late, cause that is when I see him. I have never met him. I have a vague idea of which house is his. But during the school year. 8:00 AM he is on the corner of the street with his kids waiting for the school bus. Everyday! No matter the temperature, if his kids are there, so is he. Well for the past few years, every day I drive by, he goes out of his way to wave at me. I see other cars go by with no wave. But my car, never a miss… Cant think of a better way to start each day. It puts a smile on may face long enough to last a few missed lights on Excelsior Blvd… One of these days I will stop and say "hi" versus waving. Take it to the next step…

There's a ton more on my mind… These are the highlights, the ones that lighten my day.. The ones I want to focus on…

Ethan Daily, Feeling, Music, Struggles

How do I percieve Jesus, when I want to think of Him, how do I do it???
What works, what doesn't?

Typically when I want to remember a time I had with a friend, I try to replay the moment in my head, visually representing the event that created that good memory. Its easy for me to visualise this and comfortably relive that moment.

Last night I was thinking about how do I translate that to Jesus? How do I see Him? Do I see Him as the guy I grew up drawing in Sunday school? Do I see Him as Jim Caviezel in "The Passion of the Christ"?

Those images don't work for me. Seeing a 4 color Jesus in blue/green/red and yellow crayon doesn't work, seeing a picture at church of Jesus doesn't work.

What works for me is picturing the kids I encountered in El Salvador at our worksite and everywhere we went. Seeing kids at Young Life having a good time, not sure why more and more are showing up, knowing the reason isn't me, knowing that He is bringing them there. Seeing Dads play with their kids on my block, as to which I am very excited for tonight, on Halloween the Dads on my block all get together and travel around in a group of 8-10 and accompany their kids as they go do to door. Hearing stories from Dr. John Perkins about his journey of life and where it has brought him. What works for me is spending 4 hours on a golf course soaking in His beauty and creation in peace and quiet, pausing only so often to make a swing. Having a few friends over this weekend to help me sheetrock, not asking for anything in return, just chipping in what they can of their time. Seeing Jesus in the community that comes out of times like that.

The list goes on and on.. And the cool part is it doesn't even begin to fully capture the picture of Jesus that is out there. There are more stories to hear, more children to hear giggle, more community to be built stronger…

I am interested in hearing people's thoughts on how they percieve Jesus, or picture Him when they want to seek Him, think of Him…

Ethan Feeling

A storm came in today, before the
race started…
It was too rainy to run the race.
It was rain like I had never seen before.It was honest rain.It was a rain that I need to seek God about. I need to see where He wants me to
seek shelter.

I am still anxious and excited to take part in the race. I am not sure when this race will happen. I need to seek God for the starting time…

I felt confident in starting the race now, but know and trust that I will be better prepared when the time comes for the race to start…

Ethan Community, Daily, Feeling, Surprise Me

My Momma and I were talking yesterday… She mentioned this, not sure where she heard it from or read it… But that isn't the point of this post…

"Prayer doesn't change God, prayer changes those who pray…"

Hearing that, it makes me feel so selfish when I ask for my health to get better when I am feeling down, asking for things I would categorize as "Advancing Ethan's Kingdom".

Does this idea mean that praying opens us up to see God's will/plan/blessings more? If it doesn't change Him, how does it change us?

Ethan Feeling

18 kids at Young Life last night… 6 more than our previous high… 3 first timers…

Trying to figure out what's bringing them there, its not me…

Jesus is working in this…

Oh Praise Him!!!

Ethan Daily, Feeling

Right now I feel like the favored horse in the Kentucky Derby… I have prepped, I have trained, I am psyched up for the race. I am confident, I have the best jockey on my back, people are pulling for me, Bob Baffert is excited for me…

The only thing holding me back is the 2 metal doors in front of me. God is holding me there, facing me, holding me in his arms, waiting to release me when he says so. When those doors will open, I am not too sure. For I feel like the horse, and the horse may not understand a countdown like we do, only that when the doors open. Its time to go!

I can't wait until that race begins…

Ethan Feeling

Came across these verses today, its what I have been thinking about a bit as I dive into his arms and hands of control…

Luke 9:57-62 (NIV)

57 As they were walking along the road, a man said to him, "I will follow you wherever you go."

58 Jesus replied, "Foxes have holes and birds of the air have nests, but the Son of Man has no place to lay his head."

59 He said to another man, "Follow me." But the man replied, "Lord, first let me go and bury my father."

60 Jesus said to him, "Let the dead bury their own dead, but you go and proclaim the kingdom of God."

61 Still another said, "I will follow you, Lord; but first let me go back and say good bye to my family."

62 Jesus replied, "No one who puts his hand to the plow and looks back is fit for service in the kingdom of God."

We always say our priorities are God, Family, Friends, Work… I guess that is ideal.., But it is practiced? Would you really leave your family to follow if forced to? Or would you pass an opportunity to follow so you can say goodbye to your family?

It is a hard one… I am pretty attached to my family and would hope I could walk away to follow the Lord as instructed, but I hope that time never comes.

It would be the ultimate test, I fear that I would not be fit for service in the kingdom of God if that time came… I guess I would hope my family has heard these words from Jesus it would be easier to understand…

Ethan Feeling, Surprise Me