Living Rarefied

I am in shock with the amount of masks kids put on.  I knew there were a few each kid had. But this last week in Colorado has shown me they have closets and closets full of masks to hide behind.

We took a few of these masks away during the week of camp, iPods, cellphones, PSPs, etc.   The whole bus ride out to camp, was fighting, bickering, just unhappy people exchanging words between txt msgs or songs.  Upon reaching the camp, we collected each of them.  Or attempted to.  Kids are stashing them in each others bags to hide them away cause they need them so bad.

Once they were free from the thought of not getting them back until the trip home, they actually began to experience each other.  The 33 students who were cliqued up in the bus all actually got to know each other for who they are and not for the fact they were being too loud and having that define the person.
Could you imagine a camp with kids walking around with earbuds in and text-messaging all day with no real conversations?  Kinda sounds like it is in their real world.
Sad note.. As soon as the electronics were passed back.  Almost instantly they reverted back to fighting about seats, about txt messages that so and so sent them while they were gone and how they got screwed becuase they couldn't response.  We didnt let them recharge anything.. So once they died out.. Real conversations were had…

Ethan Feeling, Surprise Me

I hope you've seen then new VW Passat commercial.  It shows a couple driving through town and as they pass other cars of the "luxury" variety the drivers are all heads out the window with a megaphone chanting phrases.  On is of a blond woman in a convertible, claiming that if people look at her it gives her worth.  Another is a man yelling out "because I make more money than you, because I make more money than you, because I make more money than you…"  Over and over.  And the last is a guy in a red Viper saying "because I am overcompensating for something, because I am overcompensating for something, because I am overcompensating for something…"

I love this commercial because it is so true.  But about 3 times a year I get all worked up about getting a newer/cooler car than my 99 Passat.  My car works fine, gets great mileage, is in 1 piece, never a hassle, always reliable…  Now something is telling me that the Passat isn't cutting it for me anymore, something inside me wants to scream out through a megaphone and that megaphone maybe a new car…

I ran into a friend from HS who I haven't seen in 8 years… His 3 questions were, where do you live, where do you work and are you still playing a lot of golf…  I think the 1st 2 questions were to measure up.  Size Ethan up, how's he doing.  And the last question must just be what people think of me as.  I run into countless people who associate me with golf and thats it.  "Ethan? oh he's the golfer…"  I am passionate about golf, but it doesn't even begin to define me, especially these days…
As I prepare to head back to El Salvador in July, I am pondering these items as to what exactly am I screaming through my megaphone.  I think the things that we scream through the megaphone are things that are actually holding us back.  Last time I went in 2004 I think I was screaming out "because i am the best employee around, because i am the best employee around, because i am the best employee around…"  Well I got back and within a week I quit my job. I'm not looking to do the same this time, but I am ready for another change and would love to hear what I am screaming into a megaphone about and hopefully make a change there as well.  Eventually I would like my megaphone to be silent…  I would like my life to speak for me, in a way that nobody tries to measure me, or measure up to me.  But in a way that somebody can admire the silence of my megaphone.

Ethan Community, Daily, Feeling, Surprise Me

Last night my Momma and I went to the 1st World Vision/Young Life auction event.  The place was filled with familiar Young Life faces from the 10+ years I have been involved at some level.  I wanted to bid on the Mohammed Ali signed boxing gloves but she wouldn't let me!

As she was talking with the regional director, Brad, I was talking to his wife Sue and heard the best things you could hear about somebody.  She talked about her praying.  She said how her prayer led to such a positive change in the way they went about things.  The importance my Momma put on prayer and the amazing results of her faithfulness served as an lesson to them about praying.

I was amongst a great group, my Momma, who has served me and supported me my whole life, who has served Brad as the chair of the executive committee for our Young Life area.  Brad who was my Young Life leader in HS, who has been behind me all along through HS, through my ups and downs of college life, and now as a leader.  Brad who is behind his wife Sue. And Sue who has been behind us all, all along.

It was a great moment in my life…

Ethan Feeling

UPDATE:
Friday I went to Mission Impossible: 3…  I got an Icee no problem…

 

Friday i had another Icee incident…

I was at the movies with my sisters and my friend Katie. I went to get my Icee as usual and ordered my twist… Cherry and blue-rasberry… Katie wanted a blue-rasberry. The kid behind the counter said the blue-rasberry machine was broken. I looked behind him, it was. I looked to the right as I know most movie theaters have 2 machines. It was up and running… So I said, "That one's working." He seriously looked at me and said, "Are you really gonna make me go down there?!?" I contemplated and thought, 15 feet isn't too far to make this kid walk… I was surprised to see how hard it was for this guy to do his job.

2 weeks ago, i went to see Inside Man. I waited in line for about 10 minutes to get my Icee, only to find out that the Icee machine was broken behind her. I asked about the other machine… The response was, "That machine is not in my area." Very surprising to me that at a 60 foot counter, everything isn't in everybody's area.

I can't help but think that there is a relation from those 2 conversations about the way the lazyness of me can overtake and overpower the desire to do what is right or what I am called to do as a follower of Jesus.

I see myself in the shoes of those who encounter the Jewish man who had been robbed and beaten on his way to Jerico from Jerusalem. Sometimes I feel like the Samaritan, and sometimes I feel like the Priest or Levite who used their energy to walk to not only pass the man, but to cross the road and then pass. Unfortunately when I feel like the Samaritan, chances are there are some incentives for me that makes it easier for me to help them out.

Ethan Feeling

2 reasons we just can't be friends…

I am finding it more and more easy to figure out who actually cares about me though email and phone.  There are 2 sides: those who contact me, and those that don't.

I can get down to the core of what your intentions with me are based on a few things.

If I call you, email you, or try to contact you.  And I hear nothing back for a few days after you know I made an effort to contact you,  maybe a week.  That is the loudest signal to me that I am not even on the fringes of your radar.  Here is why I have an extreme viewpoint on this but am going to stand firm by it, NOBODY is too busy to write a one sentence response, a call on your way to work, or walking into your office pointing out you got my message but am busy and thats it.  I am 100% cool with that, if you're busy… You're busy…
I just cannot stand to listen to somebody explain how busy they have been and haven't had time to breathe…

Yes you have taken a breath, and yes you have 20 seconds to respond.

The output of my extreme view is that everything you do, everything, is more important than me.  I'm not saying I should be at the top of their list of importance.  But I would hope I am not last… I have enough interest to seek you out and contact you.
This upsets me obviously enough to write about it, but I think my leash has been too long and I have given people too much room to dangle me around.  But I need to continue to give those who seek me out their fair share of Ethan…

Ethan Community, Feeling

About a month ago I was with friends in Palm Springs. On the way back we tried to catch an earlier flight on standby. 3 of us got called up.  Steve & Kyle & I, 4 others didn't make it.  In the commotion to figure out who got to get home at a decent hour, we lost one spot.  Down to 2.  I have nobody to get home to so I was planning on conceeding my seat anyway.  So Steve & Kyle were gonna take the seats, Kyle hadn't been away from his son Brennan so he was a for sure.  Steve is Steve, and based on coolness factor he was going too.

A woman came from the jetway all worked up that her ticket didn't work.  That she had called a few hours earlier and gotten her ticket changed to the earlier flight.  Evidently she had bad information and was booked on the late flight with the rest of us.  She mentioned she had 4 kids at home and she would lose her job if she didn't get on this flight.

I looked at Steve without any knowledge if her claims were true or not, whether she would lose her job if she got home at 8:00 PM or 1:00 AM?, and said, "Opportunity??"

Response: "Love Wins!!"

Steve gave up his spot on the flight to her, she was gracious and got on the flight.  We never got a chance to talk to her more about whether it was a scam or the truth.  We'll take it as the truth.  But I'd like to think love won that night as there were then complications with our tickets as we were locked in the middle of being transferred to the flight that was already landing in Minneapolis.  Mine was sorted quickly with a re-print. Steve's took some time.

Seating assignments:

• I got front row bulkhead window seat.  3 feet of legroom and nobody in the middle seat. Plenty of room to sleep!
• Steve got upgraded to 1st class.  Nothing more to say there…

I don't look for rewards for love.  But I can't help but think the premium seating assignments were the tangible smile of Jesus from a small sacrifice to love sombody.  All I said was "opportunity"

Ethan Daily, Feeling

I am as close as I ever got to attending Yale… I got a phone call this morning from a Young Life friend of mine, Dan. He got into Yale today! I guess nowadays you can check online to see if you got in, a little different than when most of us had to wait and check the mailbox each day.

2 amazing examples of subtle love:

• I was the first person he called. It touches my heart like I can't explain that a HS kid would think to call me first about such huge news! Even before he posted it on his MySpace.com bulletin!
• He also hasn't heard back from Williams… His brother goes there. Hist brother didn't get into Yale with perfect SAT scores and a 4.0+ GPA. He told me he hopes he doesn't get into Williams so that his brother can say to him, "I got in to Williams and you didn't" Simply amazing that he is thinking of his brother in that way. It strikes me as a perfect way of loving his brother that he would lay his own humility on the table before him.

SIDE NOTE: he got into Wheaton where I wrote him my first letter of reccommendation… 1 for 1 baby!!!

Ethan Daily, Feeling

My mind races with ideas, thoughts, wonders…  It is an avenue for me to put thoughts out there, get them out of my head to make room to process things that are going on.

Sometimes I have a lot in my head and therefore have a lot to write.  Sometimes not much is going on inside so the posts are few and far between…   The purpose for me writing is strictly for me.  I like those comedians who say they love what they do so much that the show would be the same if the club was empty or if they were in their shower by themselves.  Similar to that, I would write the same if my visitors were in the thousands or if nobody reads it at all…

I love the encouragement I see through comments, discussions, challenges to some of my thoughts, but I struggle with those who are confused as to why I write and why LivingRarefied.com exists.  These are thoughts and for  issues/dilemmas/life problems I go to my family and my core when I need advice or guidance, those are the ones who really know me and I trust.

I don't want this to be thought as being aimed at any one person, I just would like to explain the page I am on with this thing…

Ethan Community, Feeling, Surprise Me

When there's no drama… Why is it that we look for drama? I catch myself so many times when I am on a good run, feeling like i miss some drama or that there must be some coming and God is just prepping me for it. My problem is that I go on a lot of good runs. Its not a problem to have, but it is when your focus becomes "something must be coming" It takes me out of the moment. This is what I call my "calm before the storm dilemma".

But coming home from a great weekend with some close friends and now even closer friends, its kind of that high of great feeling and emotions and that relationships got firmed up a little. I have often heard at summer camps, where the camp speaker talks about this roller coaster ride of spirituallity. They normally give a talk about how to keep it going. My thought from this weekend, is that yes I want to continue this pursuit of fewer friendships but at a higher level of intimacy. I need to stop looking for somebody to show or tell me how and just do it.

To live like Jesus… He did encounter plenty of people, but he only had a few he went to on a consistant basis. For that case, I come in contact with many people on a regular basis, but find there are only a few I really want to pour my time into. I believe that these are the people who want to pour into me. When the road gets rocky, I want to know who I am going to every time. I don't want to think about going to person A with financial issues, or person B for relationship questions or even C for my faith questions. I want to know that my team is trusted and can cover all of those.

It sounds selfish, but is it selfish to love a few extravagantly rather than love many poorly?

Ethan Community, Feeling

Top 2 reasons I will never be in the Olympics.

1. I don't have the drive to get myself to the gym lately, let alone prepare for the Olympics.
2. Spending 4+ years for a 1 minute run of which I would most likely screw up 10 seconds into it, therefore nullifying my previous 4 years. Then having to wait another 4 years to redeem myself.  Its just not my cup of tea.

But skol to those who do it year after year, you inspire me.

Ethan Daily, Feeling