El Salvador response #2
There are amazing people in your world. We can be so close to friendship with them and have no idea.
A friend I met on the trip had been on the same support team as me at the Upper Room, the extent of how much we interacted were comments like this. "Where does this go? Not sure, ask Joe." or "Hey great job, see you next week." On the trip and in the short time after I am beginning to see the story that makes up this guy. What makes him tick, what is going on in his head as he breaks down what life is going to look like for him after this El Salvador experience. I am anxious to spend more time with him.
Some others that were close by were a few from a weekend retreat last November. I knew them as names and friendly faces, thats it. I wish I had taken the time to jump out of my comfort zone of the friends I came with to experience life with them.
Another friend I got to know on this trip I first saw sometime early this spring. Steve Weins was giving on February 26th a message about integrity where we ended the time together by going up to big boards on the stage with markers and wrote a word/phrase about ourselves that maybe our image doesn't show. The word I wrote on the board was "lonely". I remember really wrestling with that because of the truth to it, and the fact I had just wrote it in front of 1000+ people. Not everybody could read it as i wrote, but i am sure a few saw it. I remember seeing this person who had sat in front of me alone, after the service standing alone in thought. I remember walking towards this new friend of mine to initiate a conversation, only to be called out by somebody who isn't much more than an aquaintance but helps mask that loneliness I wrote about and I aborted the mission of striking up a conversation with this person. The sad thing is I cannot tell you what the conversation was about that called me away from this person. Was it worth it? Here I sit almost 6 months later and am only now beginning to know this friend. In those 6 months struggles have fallen on my friend, some difficult decisions were made on my end and 1 week in July this stranger was on my team I was leading in El Salvador.
There are other small stories of people I am beginning to experience life with that I am thankful about. These are just a few of the stories that are screaming out to me, what if you would've made a better effort to initiate with them when you first had the chance! Would the stranger have wanted somebody to talk to that night? I know I needed a conversation I could remember. Would my support-team friend and I gotten along if we only talked more while we worked? Or was it the experience we had together in El Salvador that drew out a friendship in a more communal way. Would my retreat friends lasted had I shared more time with them that weekend and after that, or would they have faded.
As much as it kills me to say it was better to become friends on this trip, I think it says something about the power of being in community. Had we talked more and gotten to know each other months, years ago, would the friendships be where they are today and more excitingly, where they are going! I hate "what ifs" cause I feel we are called to live in the present and not dwell on what if this had happened instead. It slows us down from living full lives with those we are with now.
I am so thankful for these new friendships…
Hi Eth. Sounds like the hopes you had–those you wrote about before your trip–were fulfilled. What a gift to be fully engaged by the people around you, and to build relationships that will undoubtedly last beyond “reunions.”
Peace