re-entry to the matrix, I will be posting a few of my responses to my time in El Salvador as I process them.
We live in a world we don't know. We live in a world that is for the most part, clouded from reality. I just spent a week with 28 people who are now friends in El Salvador and experienced some powerful moments. These moments may happen here, but most of the time we are too busy to notice or aren't ready to receive them.
I didn't interact with many children this week, only Manuel at our sponsorship party (more on that later). But at our worksite because of the lack of kids my eyes were opened to some special things. Our head construction guy, the master builder Antonio (who was our master builder 2 years ago) had his son working alongside him. Benedicto was 28. Seeing these two work together as 1 was amazing. Antonio would teach Benedicto things and Benedicto would also show his dad a thing or 2. At the end of the days we spent with them, I took 2 poloroids of the 2 of them. One for each. The reaction that followed was something I can't even try to write about. They kept putting their picture, which was the same in front of each other pointing at things and smiles and joy peeked through 2 fairly serious men. As we walked away they continued to look at them and I could feel the presence of the moment as I walked back to our bus.
A lot of times we assume its always gonna be the father that teaches the son. I learned that for it to be a true relationship, this needs to be a 2-way street. Otherwise the son is nothing other than a protege, a student of the father.
I am trying to figure out what this looks like in my life with my dad. I am thankful for our relationship and hope that I am teaching him a thing or 2. Also trying to figure out how that works in my relationship with the Heavenly Father. Not that I can teach him anything, but that I am interacting and loving as if I am teaching him.
Ethan Feeling
Tomorrow morning @ 5:00 AM I will be on a flight with 27 others from my community journying to El Salvador. I am physically and mentally exhausted from my trip to Colorado last week and this week at work trying to cram everything in. Haven't even packed yet. I think as soon as I get on that plane, it will click and it will be game time.
2 things i hope
- Trip will be filled with different experiences than i had in 2004. I don't want to focus on "I remember this, or that" or "I was feeling this or that last time". I want fresh perspective on this trip or I am no better off than sitting on a couch here in MN reminiscing about the 2004 trip.
- Leave things from home at home. I have to bring my phone for work. I just hope it doesnt ring. This is the 2nd of 3 weeks i will be gone and being the only technology guy at the office puts pressure on me in times like this if things go off course. Friendships, relationships, struggles I want to leave here. I want to focus on the new relationships and the new people and their stories. I don't want to be thinking about what so and so is thinking about me while I am in conversation with a new friend. That would be a disservice to them.
Ethan Feeling
I am in shock with the amount of masks kids put on. I knew there were a few each kid had. But this last week in Colorado has shown me they have closets and closets full of masks to hide behind.
We took a few of these masks away during the week of camp, iPods, cellphones, PSPs, etc.  The whole bus ride out to camp, was fighting, bickering, just unhappy people exchanging words between txt msgs or songs. Upon reaching the camp, we collected each of them. Or attempted to. Kids are stashing them in each others bags to hide them away cause they need them so bad.
Once they were free from the thought of not getting them back until the trip home, they actually began to experience each other. The 33 students who were cliqued up in the bus all actually got to know each other for who they are and not for the fact they were being too loud and having that define the person.
Could you imagine a camp with kids walking around with earbuds in and text-messaging all day with no real conversations? Kinda sounds like it is in their real world.
Sad note.. As soon as the electronics were passed back. Almost instantly they reverted back to fighting about seats, about txt messages that so and so sent them while they were gone and how they got screwed becuase they couldn't response. We didnt let them recharge anything.. So once they died out.. Real conversations were had…
Ethan Feeling, Surprise Me
Learned a big big lesson of patience last week in Colorado. A student I have known for over 4 years and prayed for and repeatedly have said "I'm here for you whenever you need me", finally came to me with some real stuff… His life when I am not around. I have now had 3 of the best conversations in the last 3 days with him and he wants to continue to dialogue. I am going to challenge him to think differently than he has in the past about these "things".
What a great feeling that when you think its getting too late in their HS days that it isn't too late.
Ethan testing
Tad & Ali
they are wonderful people, very nice and now hope to maybe hang out with them or bbq or something soon. But it was a great feeling to finally meet them.
here was my original post
Ethan testing
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