Its a good year of lights, as long as you don't end up here…
Not the best way to build community in your neighborhood.. I will use this site in learning what not to do as I hang my simple simple lights at my house…
Has been on my mind… Scott is a homeless man who has been coming into my local Caribou lately to sip some coffee and warm up.
My goal is to engage in a conversation with Scott.. Maybe give him a Caribou Card, although the girl working there gives him free coffee… Time will tell, I don't want to be upfront and act like I would be there to help in a "Christian" way that may turn him off, but to be there for conversation and love in a "Jesus" way.
Scott hasn't been in the last 2 days. When its below 0 and windy I wonder about those who survive on the streets, and those who don't… I guess I never have thought about those without shelter so closely. I was cold last night because I turn my thermostat down to 60 to conserve energy and money…
I hope you're doing ok Scott…
I was sitting at First Presbyterian in Boulder Colorado and communion was served today. The pastor requested we all wait to eat the bread until all in the church have received their piece. This was done to eat in unity as the body of Christ. A great idea!
I let my mind wander a little, sometimes I keep the leash on and only let it go so far. Today I took the leash off.
Thoughts of my philosophy class back in college came back. Dealing with sample sizes and all that jazz. If the world population were to double over night, the body of Christ would double right? Each of those newborns fall into the same category as I do, my Father sent his son Jesus to die so that we may live.
Now what if all in the world disappeared tonight and I land back in Minnesota as the only one on earth. (I flew and landed the plane)
I would be the body of Christ on earth. Just as it was in the beginning with Adam.
In relation to my last entry I am wrestling with ideas that I am not just a number. I am not one in a billion. I am one of one. I am His Joy.
I fear that in the phrase "we are the body" we settle in to being content to be hair, or belly button fuzz. I fear that we say the pastors and missionaries will be the feet and hands. Its all good cause we are part of the body. And there are parts that don't have to do anything. That's not a very ideal body if the majority of people think that. I am beginning to experience the importance of me in this world, not in an egotistical way of a T-shirt I designed that says "every woman deserves a guy like me". But in a way that God is revealing to me through relationships both successful and failed alike. The importance of me being right in my own eyes and in my own eyes only. As if I were the only one left to represent the body of Christ.
I am trying to break the mold of me thinking that God did all he did for us, and move towards the fact he did it for me. Not in a selfish way, but in a way I will feel it and not just be a part of it.
A hard bite of reality is that when the day comes where I am stripped of evething here I love, where will I stand? Naked and alone and empty handed and down on myself and embarrassed to be naked, or naked and alone and empty handed and thrilled that Jesus is there with open arms for me.
In relationships, I can only be me. I can only be the me I was made to be. I need to be who I am, cause if I am who I aint , I aint who I am. Somebody will come my way that can accept and walk with me as I am. Regardless of timing, where I am in life, where they are in life, where God has each of is in life.
Its a hard place for me, to yearn for a close and intimate relationship here on earth, yet above that is my growing in Christ and bringing His kingdom to everyone I meet. But knowing and yearning to have that be the core of the relationship.
2 become one… That's what I want. Not 2 + some changes become one. Which is what I always feel is what is expected even though I resist because it prevents me from being me.
I'm sitting here in the Denver airport listening to music. Crowder is playing and I am getting teary eyed thinking about the words "letting myself go". And "you are my joy!" being repeated over and over. Imagining God screaming it out to me louder than I can scream it to him!
This song used to only give me the chills. Now its tears…
I am reading "running on empty" about solitude and I am in solitude by the baggage claim due to NWA being late as usual.
My senses are a little fired up now. In my stillness he will heal and continue to scream out "Ethan, you are my joy and always have and always will be!!"
That's all a guy needs right now.
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