Tomorrow, my great friend in life is headed to Paris to start a 6 month program to finish her MBA that she is in progress at the Carlson School of Management.
So to log her journy, we set up a blog and are in the process of tuning the design, but thought I would link to it here and on my right menus.
I was asked to write a letter of recommendation for a guy I have walked
with for his whole HS career, 9th grade until now…
The thoughts that came out of this were.
The application is for Wheaton College, and they need a pastor/youth leader to give a reccommendation, I guess thats me! I am proud to be selected to do this for him.
What a world it would be if instead of making fun of people who aren't like us, or judging them because of their differences, we would pray for them, engage them.. Or for starters just not even let those negative thoughts enter your head.
Friday I saw a movie with Kevin and Gennae, it was an early movie, Syriana. The theater wasn't too full, but the odd thing was that everybody gathered around us. In the row in front, behind and our row. There was 1 seat open next to Gennae, and a guy walked in by himself and saw the seat. I heard him exclaim with joy, "alright a seat right in the center of the theater!"
So he wedged between our group and the group next to us, akwardly close. Started commenting about the size of our popcorn, and saying how he was so surprised at the difference between a medium and a large. How he thought mediums would be bigger.
I was annoyed, I mean who was this guy to come interrupt our time in the theater and make it uncomfortable next to us.
Halfway through the movie I couldn't get this guy out of my head, because I started thinking. Its the holidays, he's at a movie by himself. I thought of my family at home I was going to see later that night. The friends I was with, the friends I was meeting later. and thought to myself maybe he doesn't have that. And I may have just cut down what he does have. Maybe going to the movies and talking to people is the only interaction he has with people.
My new equation for judging is this… In order to judge somebody, you need to know every possible detail about them. Otherwise any assumption/judgement isn't valid. Because there is information missing you can never be sure. I could be off about this guy. He could be like me on Good Friday last year when I went to a movie myself. It didn't mean I had no life/friends/family. It didn't mean I am odd. I am oddfor other reasons. And since we cannot know everything about somebody. Even though we may know a lot about somebody, we will never know everything. Therefore the judgment is reserved for the one who knows everything about us. Our Father in Heaven.
Since when did the commute home become a race/competition?
One thing I cannot stand!!! Is when you are trying to merge onto 100 south from Stephen Drive just south of 394. And as you are moving left into an opening of maybe 60 feet or so, (plenty of room for a Passat at a speed of 40 MPH with traffic going 40 MPH) somebody doesn't like that you are coming into their lane and they speed up to 60 MPH to close the 60 foot gap and lay on the horn like you just cut them off…
I am not trying to beat them to their house? I am one car… Was their day that bad that they have to get their rage out for a 1 second difference on the highway?
I bet they don't know that Jesus loves them, and it doesn't matter.
My new ways of trying my best to be honest and not sugar-coat everything, even down to the simple question "how are you doing"…
I guess yesterday somebody didn't want to hear how I was really doing. I was asked how are you really doing. So I took this as an opportunity where I had to be honest and not hold back.
I have a few reasons for this new way of trying to be honest in all times, especially when asked. One is that bottling it up, keep it inside to stir is a bad bad idea and has never worked in my favor. For a friendship to grow I think honesty needs to be there all the times. Many times people will not receive the truth very well which is the very reason we sugar-coat it… To protect them… But is that really protecting them?
I found out yesterday it works both ways, it may hurt the one you speak the truth to, but it also hurts yourself. As the bringer of the truth, you can look bad, all of the sudden you aren't the nice guy anymore. But was I ever the nice guy because I sugar-coated things? Unfortunately struggles exist and things aren't always smiles and laughter. But we try to make it seem like that's our world by covering up the struggles and sweeping them into the closet to try and forget about them. But they grow and you get to see them time to time when you go get clothes out of your closet, so they never go away.
any other thoughts on honesty?
If you give somebody money, let's say somebody who is homeless. Once you have given the money to them, its not yours anymore.
Why do we have such hangups on not giving a beggar money because of what they might go do with it. I came to the conclusion this weekend that once you give, and even before you give, as soon as you commit to give it to somebody, you can no longer dictate where that money will go to. But you can be prayerful with the gift to them, that God will let them use it how He would have them, not how I would have them use it.
We don't know most of the people who ask us for money, so how are we to know what they should use it for?
Today marks 1 year of being sober…
Surprisingly, yesterday was the first day in a year where the idea/thought of having a drink didn't enter my head. I couln't really count the 12th as day 1 last year because Saturday night spilled into early Sunday. And because I am a little OCD on being exact on my dates, today is the full day…
While I was in Boulder, their HS Ministries Director asked as a few of us a question he was thinking about in preparing a talk for their church… Forrest asked us what burdens us? What is the biggest burden we carry?
The 3 others each said their families are their biggest burden. I said that I am my biggest burden. It caught him off guard I think. In a life that is blessed beyond understanding, I find myself looking for drama or feeling the need for a burden and so almost instinctively I place a lot of pressure on myself.
I place more pressure on myself than needed around the Young Life ministry. I take it personal when few kids show up or if a kid says they are coming and then cancels last minute. I take it personal when it looks like 1 kid in the room isn't having fun.
I am a huge burden to myself in relationships with girls, potential dating relationships to be specific. The fact that I have never had a serious relationship is the root of why I have such an inner struggle with myself and my level of acceptance or lack of acceptance in that arena.
Financially I am a burden to myself, I spend money on Caribous, a gym membership that is rarely used enough. Also because of things like remodeling my basement I wonder if I am being too selfish with my money? Or am I being smart by investing it in the real estate I have been fortunate enough to acquire.
When thinking about how to heal/solve this… I came up with all sorts of solutions to other burdens. If your family is a burden, work and pray to reconcile the differences and pour unconditional love into the differences and your family members.. Similar process for a friend who may be a burden on you. Work used to be a burden, but then I realized work is about 5th or 6th on my long term importance list. So I quit my job. I still work hard, but I am in an environment that allows work to be work and not anything more or less. But for myself, I can't think of anything else than pray. Its extremely hard for me to just say to myself to get out of the way.
I was searching layout themes last night with a friend and I saw this theme you are looking at today, the new/temporary deisgn to LivingRarefied.com. It looked hilarious to me.. So simple…
But as a laid in bed, I was thinking about the context and how true it is…
Over the last few years I have learned and am learning that I can't give my heart to somebody, whether they ask for it or I just give it to them thinking they want it.
First off it isn't mine to give. I made that decision years ago to give it to Jesus. So I really can't give something I don't have. The problem with that is sometimes the mind works different than the heart. So they forget who owns which.
Secondly, my heart is my connection to God and Jesus. By giving that to another person I unfortunately have redirected my pathway to Jesus through them… So as soon as something happens to them, something has happened to my pathway and also to my faith (as part of it was rooted in them).
My solution is that I open my heart to somebody to allow them to see it, be near it, fall in love with it. But knowing it isn't mine to give them, to be open to sharing it with them and its owner… God… This is where my honesty experiments will shine and allow myself to be more transparent into my heart for others to see.
362
All my photos are down, I was setting up a new gallery/blog for a friend… Boom, I lost mine… I'll get them back soon…
Recent Comments