True Friends…
May 25th, 2005
- What are they?
- Who are they?
- When are they around/present?
- What is their purpose for you?
- What is your purpose for them?
- Do they know about me?
- Do I know about them?
- How much do I/they care?
- What is the breaking point for a friendship?
- How do they communicate with you?
- How do you communicate with them?
- Am I spread too thin?
- Who are people who can say "I like Ethan, he's a cool guy…" and mean it?
- Who are people who can say "Ethan matters in my life" and mean it?
- Who's gonna be around in 5 years? 10? 30?
- Who's going to love me if I don't have a job, or lose my sense of humor, or become bitter at the world?
- Who's never going to leave my side?
Questions I ask myself daily…
I like this…I like that you are thinking about this…Can't wait to hear about your retreat tonight!
I think about this every day as well, its a real source of stress for me.
I used to ask myself many of these questions.
But the more I thought about them, the more stressed and lost I became. I realized that I was trying too hard, and putting too much merit into what others thought about me.
I would like to think that the obssession I had with these questions has no control over my behavior anymore.
And by no means am I stating that to have these questions in your mind, you are insecure or obssessed.
But during my own personal experiences I have found that the more I asked myself these things, the further away I got from getting to know God. My self-esteem had dropped so far down that I didn't even know who I was anymore.
Something has changed within me. And I credit that to my constantly growing relationship with God. Although these are wonderful thoughts to ponder, I have pondered them to the point of oblivian. They got me no where.
So now, I am what I am–and I hope that is enough for those that come into my life. And if worse came to worse and I was tested to the fullest, lost all of my friends and such—I would hope that I would find my relationship with the Lord to be all that I needed. ::wink::