i am writing this as i sit and read watching the rain fall down outside.
i thought the weather would've been an upgrade, but apparently not.
slept in until 1pm today, 14.5 hours of sleep felt good. here's a picture from outside, dont be jealous…
oh, i wrote this post from my phone… i love technology.
We got free tickets to the Twins game last night…
Random guy on the street gave them to us. 4 general admission tickets. Saved us $24 dollars! We spent it eating anyways!
I am off to see the little one graduate college this weekend. Some friends have offered to take me on their plane a day early. So I am excited to be in Santa Barbara an extra day.
Hard to believe that all of the Otterlei children will be done with school in 4 days. At least with undergraduate work. I don't see myself or the little one running back to attend grad school anytime soon.
The little one I speak of is my younger sister Alexis. She will be graduating with a Communications degree from Westmont College in Santa Barbara. The best part about it is that somehow, after 4 years in sunny California she wants to come home. I will tell you it is all because of me and that she misses me that much, but there is more to it I am sure. Good thing she wasn't here last week or she may rethink her decision to move home.
She will be looking for a job too! Even more strange is the thought of the little one running off to work everyday! That makes me feel old. She should eternally have nothing to do, that way I can still believe I am not too far removed from that live I once lived.
It will be a good break to get out there, relax. See some friends and finally meet my sisters friends from school. 4 years and all the trips out there I have met maybe 1-3 of them. Good timing on my part eh? I am going to play some golf, maybe try to squeeze in some time surfing at Rincon. Read some books and be with the family. Normally it takes Thanksgiving or Christmas for us all to be in the same room at once! So that will be great!
Get ready for a whirlwind month of May!! Hopefully I can find some time for myself!
Here's a small window into my mind…
In relation to the WWJD bracelets… What Would Jesus Do???
I would like to say I can answer that correctly and often. I think eventually I may be able to have a higher percentage of correct answers as I try to follow Him and get to know him better. But right now I can't 100% say I know what He would do. I know if you put me in the exact situations where he resided in the Bible, I could tell you. We know or can have a pretty good idea of going left or going right. But the exact degrees to the left or to the right, I don't know and can't know exactly.
WWJD is a great reminder to pop in your head when you are on the brink of a decision. But it is way to stressfull for me… By the time I come to a concrete enough solution for me to go ahead with a decision, the time has passed and no decision is needed anymore. Missed opportunity…
I have a new one I have started ask myself. Dull or Sharp?
What situations are dulling situations and which are sharpening situations? Which decisions lead to those situations?
I can't remember more than a handful of times when I was drinking where it wasn't a dulling time. Regardless of when or where or who, but even in the best of company and in the best of places, it wasn't a sharpening time for me. Intentions, reasoning, outcome and everything has blinded my situations from being sharpening situations.
I can't remember many times in college where I was in a sharpening situation… I can't remember the last time a week has gone by without there being a dulling situation… Even down to a few days..
I do know that as I seek the sharp times, they come more frequently, my streak is positive, not negative. But falling short, I somehow always come back to a moment where I know I shouldn't be.
Venting is one of them.. I used to vent about my old job till I was blue in the face. It got me nowhere but boring friends and eventually feeling empty at the end of the venting session. Yesterday I was venting a bit of frustration and I should've handled it better. Not that I don't believe in my thoughts, but letting it get the best of me dulled my character a bit.
Is my blogging making me sharp or dull? Is being private about a lot of me being sharp or dull?
Yesterday I was completely relaxed, sitting on my couch, well I guess fully laid out on my couch watching the golf tournament. (Too cold to be outside) I figured that like the golf broadcast, the commercials would be calm and not too startling. I was wrong.
This advertisement I saw really got me upset. It was a commercial for a number you can call to get a free copy of the "Book of Mormon". Let me get this out there first. I am in no way upset about free books, I am all about free books. But the way it was pitched was way off key. It was 2 women eating in a diner talking about books they read. One said she just finished the Bible and was searching for more… So far so good right? She then said she found a "Companion Book" to the Bible, still good right? She reached into her purse and brought out the companion book to give to her friend. It was the Book of Mormon.
I in no way want to come down on others beliefs, this is an issue I have with the context of the commercial.
My knowledge of the ins and outs of the Book of Mormon is limited, but I do know that when I talked with a teammate of mine on the golf team who was Mormon, we had very conflicting ideologies that stemmed from the sources of our beliefs, my Bible and his Book of Mormon. Comparing these two items as a companion to one another is very hard for me to swallow.
If I am studying Spanish and I finish all of my studies and I am searching for more… I dont think I will be told that this German language textbook is a companion book to the Spanish language.
People are seeking for hope out there, and I know that many, myself included, find strength in things we read and I have a problem being sold religion. I am still seeking while I believe, there are answers out there I don't know. I am very impressionable just like the next person to see that commercial. But for somebody who isn't a believer in either faith, may see that and assume the Bible and Book of Mormon are each part of a 2 book set. Its so easy to buy into what TV tells you, that's why they sell it.
This is what I call a dulling moment for me. Its not good. Its good that I know where I stand on the issue, but bad in that I get upset about it. Enough to write about it.
I have struggled to keep up with the consistency of praying the 3 word prayer over the past week.
I think for many reasons. I may have found out what this experience means to me already. I have found that I pray less and spend less time in conversations with God.
I feel guilty if it is noon and I finally remember to pray the prayer. Or like today for example. Sleep in until 10:30 and figure I have lost 3 hours of surprise me time.
Like I needed to wake up at 7:30 pray it and fall back to sleep to let God start working when I am still lazy and warm and comfortable.
I just finished reading a book yesterday called "Praise Habit: Finding God in Sunsets & Sushi" by David Crowder. I think it was a great book for me to read and wrap up this month. It challenged me to think of my life as praise and not only think I am praising the Lord on Sunday nights when I am singing, or in my car singing, or singing songs at Young Life… But opening my every moment to let praise creep its way in and eventually flood. Also to challenge my viewpoint on the word "habit". I have always associated the word "habit" with the word "bad". But there is always a new habit to pick up.. Some weeks you may be biting your nails, some weeks chewing your pencils, some weeks using a word that doesn't exist… Just like there is always a new venture we take on in life, why can't I bring praise into there? I think that the 30 days has opened my eyes to situations where I can be living a life of praise outside of the walls of the church. Outside of my close friends and community from church. Instead of praise at church only, I want to bring that habit out to my daily world, outside, bring the habit into my other existing habits of work, driving on the roads, attending Twins games, BBQ'n at my house. Anywhere I go, I need and want to be an example of living praise.
I also feel like I have neglected all other "non-Ethan" things in life of my normal prayer time. And because they aren't part of my agenda I found it hard to release my agenda to surprises and feel 100% that they are included in my own surprise me prayer. I am excited to use my extra alertness of the world around me to feel closer to God and to feel closer to myself.
I'm looking forward to the times when it is so tough and stressful where you think you are asking so much from God and feel like you can't handle everything, to simply release the burden and simply say "Surprise Me God" You did it once, I know you can do it again. Just to be open to letting him handle things and again release all control I gathered up to make myself so stressed in the first place.
Thanks for the surprises God… Looking forward to many more!
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