Living Rarefied

I just got an email and it upsets me to see people try to act like they are "in the know" about something when it is at best a guess…

I sent out an email about a YL gathering tonight and this was a response…

"Thanks, Ethan for the message. Don't expect a huge turnout, but we'll try to get _[name]_ there."

Nice blow to the face to start your day. Don't expect a ton of kids.. Don't expect things to happen.. Maybe I am way off on this but I don't like to set expectations, they will always bring you down, you will miss them most of the time and it is a waste of time to set expectations. It makes me feel as if "I" am the one benefiting from kids showing up, that "I" will be let down if only a few come. It hurts if kids say they are coming and don't show up, but it isn't school, you are not required to come, we love it when you do come though…

I dont like the idea of one person expecting no kids, so they feel they have to get the word out that no kids will be there. All that will do is create less kids there. If word gets out that nobody is going, more and more kids will bail, its the truth, they need to see who is showing up before they can make their decisions.

I am in this ministry to have the chance to be there for a kid when he needs me, when there is nobody else to share their problems, with. When he feels I may know the answer to something, when nobody else will listen. I don't do it to attach numbers next to my name or our ministry. I don't want it to be looked upon that way either. We provide a safe place for kids to check out of the stresses of daily life, family, friends, school, sports. We have some fun, share some stories, talk about Jesus… We're here each week doing this, if a kid has finals he needs to study for, and can't make it. I think that is a good thing. But dont make it a negative by writing off the night for those who may come.

OK I AM DONE…

Ethan Surprise Me

Who's my Other? Who's gonna be my Other? I saw "I Heart Huckabees" this weekend. Strange movie, but I liked it. But one of the coolest parts of the movie was the idea of your Other.

The idea was for somebody that you can connect with and sort out problems with each other and be there for each other. These 2 guys were told they were eachother's Other. For the rest of the movie they are nearly inseprable. They didn't know the other's background, or what their case was, but knew that they were both in pursuit of an answer to their case. Tough to explain the case deal quickly.

Relating it to daily life, I would say a case is our problems, why we do what we do, why we run into the people we do.

I thought it was amazing to see these guys didn't know the past, they knew where they wanted to go and were there for each other in each situation that was brought on them. One dropped everything to be with the other and vice versa.

I have a bunch of friends who don't know my past, may never know the entire story in this lifetime. But I know they are in the same boat as me and are heading for the same answers, goals. Who's my Other, who am I an Other to? Who am I going to drop everything for to be with? Who's going to drop everything to be with me?

Ethan testing

Sisters were in town, spent a bit of time with them and extended family for my cousin Chris's wedding.

Played some golf, slept a lot, mowed the lawn, watched a movie…

Excited to spend some time next weekend with a friend I am getting to know better, headed to a men's retreat in Michigan Thursday night.

Ethan Daily, Uncategorized

1 out of every 35-40 minutes I am on the phone…

I just started thinking something very strange. What would Jesus' cell phone bill be like if he had a plan back in the day?

Think of how quickly we are to get on the phone with a friend when we jump in our cars. I make a call if I am just running up to Caribou 4 blocks away. Think about all the commute time Jesus had walking or riding camels everywhere…

• Would he have filled that commute time up on a cell phone?
• Would he have Peter, James, John and Andrew on his speed dial?
• Would his voice mail message be something discrete like the celebrities do so nobody who might dial the wrong number finds out it is them? Or would he want everybody to know his number? (I think the second would be true)
• What ringtone would he have?
• Would he have a camera phone?
• Is he a T-Mobile, Cingular, Sprint or Verizon guy? Maybe a Boost Mobile prepaid guy, he probably knoew how much he would use it and sign up for that exact amount.
• Lastly, how would he handle overage charges? Like we do and complain and threaten to switch providers until they cut the bill in half and maybe give you a new phone for sticking around? Or maybe like he handled paying the temple taxes with Peter (Matthew 17)… He could tell the "Can you hear me now?" guy to go fishing and you will find money for my bill in the first fish you catch. Pay my bill with that.

My last question/thought is this, I looked at my call timers since I reset it on the 3rd of March this year.

I have 44:02:45 as my total call time. That is correct, 44 hours, 2 minutes and 45 seconds. 25:15:11 for my incoming and 18:47:34 for my outgoing. I am glad it isn't the other way, where the majority is my outgoing. At least people are calling me.

In a 2 month span, what would those numbers look like for Jesus? Probably less than me… He spent time with people not necessarily through messengers or telegrams. Why do I need to spend so much time on the phone? Why can't I connect in person, the way it was meant to be. I will sit at home and talk to somebody no more than a few miles away for over an hour, why don't I stop by, or they stop by my house, or meet halfway?

My cell phone can be a crutch, too easy to connect via the phone instead of in person. 60 minuntes on the phone isn't as good as 20 in person…

Ethan testing

I've come to the conclusion that no matter what, no matter where, no matter how good you have it. The grass is ALWAYS greener in places you are not.

I always just took that phrase in the realm of finances. That there was always more money to be made, a better job, less hours, more vacation… But have been slowly noticing it is all around me.

Relationships are a huge piece, not talking "just friends" here. In all honesty, I can tell you I haven't had a relationship past 3 months, I cant come up with a number of dates, because I am not sure what even constitutes as a date. Having recollections of that Seinfeld epsiode where they determined the ground rules for verifying if it was a date or not.

Maybe my "game" is way off. Maybe it isn't even on. A friend of mine put my game in a nutshell. When asked why I have so many friends that are of the female gender, he replied back; "Ethan is attracted to them, hangs out with them, and then… Never pulls the trigger and becomes friends with them."

Well this is my game, it is me and I have to deal with it. I guess I think that if I am going to take a relationship to the next step of seriousness, "dating", I don't want to do that with somebody I only enjoy seeing a movie with (no talking) or seeing a concert (again no talking) or spending money on other things to make me look more appealing to them. I don't want to spend all sorts of effort, wooing somebody into being attracted to me by going to expensive dinners, buying extravagant gifts, jewelry and stuff..

Yeah, I agree that all comes in time. But I think some people mistakenly pull out their aces right away to get you in the door and run out of aces quickly thereafter. Overpromising from the beginning, making you believe it will always be this way.

The cards I hold are a bit different and I don't think they mix well with what society depicts what you should be dealt. I need to be myself and if I change that just to I can have a relationship and a gal at my side, then I am not true to myself. I may want to spend a few months getting to know somebody, I want them to be able to appreciate me in my own environment. I don't want to feel like I have to be "on" everytime I am around that person. That gets tiring, did it for years in college and look where it got me.. Nowhere… If they can appreciate me in my environment, understand or at least tolerate my humor, strange tendencies, quirks, and all elements of me, then still want to hang out with me, then I may see if things can move forward. But there lies the problem. I also feel that gals like to be wooed, given jewelry, and many other elements that may show up with me a long ways down the path of a friendship.

So when I see others dating and having a great time hanging out, friends getting married, friends starting to date, etc. I feel like I do when I stand in my front yard and look south to my next door neighbor Sue's yard. Her grass is always better than mine. I have a ton of dandelions and she doesn't, I have brown patches and she doesn't. I have ugly shrubs, she has flowers of every color and variety.

It gives you the strong feeling of "I want that"…

Ethan testing

Went to Snow Patrol last night.. Amazing show…

My friend Rebecca gave me tickets for my birthday last month so we headed over there. I love concerts at the Quest.

Opening band Embrace was really good too, although I heard a lot of people there who thought Embrace was Snow Patrol.

Ethan Daily

Today an amazing thing happened.. I was on the verge of upgrading my Mac Mini because I didn't feel it was powerful enough for video editing that I had initially bought it for. I haven't had time to play with it since I have been finishing up some web development for friends. I backed off the upgrade and checked out eBay to see what I could get for it. Saw it wasn't anywhere near what I paid for it. No more than an hour later I was at Caribou reviewing my Young Life message for tonight and the phone rings, a buddy who has been having trouble with the new iTunes on windows. 4.8.

iTunes has a big time error with its windows version of 4.8. Apple won't fix it as they say it is a Windows problem… Microsoft won't fix it, it is an Apple problem.. So he was asking how I liked my Mac Mini and that he was going to the store to look at them for his parents and sister. 4 hours later I am Mac Mini-less and about90% of my investment recouped from January when I bought it.

We both win, my desk looks lonely on the right side, but we'll make it though.

It is a bit strange, instead of acquiring technology I was releasing some. Not normally my gig, but feels good. Also glad to help out a friend, especially when it doesn't feel like I had to do much but unplug cables and accept a check.

Sorry Apple, I will be an owner once again someday. I need to get some other things straightened out in my life first. I am still rockin' out to the 2nd gen iPod and the Shuffle, so I'll be fine.

Ethan Daily

feeling over the past few weeks/months multiple cases of unexplained rejection from different groups… No reasoning for it, no explanations, and therefore no understanding on my part.

I toil inside because of it, I feel it is a negative reflection of myself, my character. Its weird when everything else is almost picture perfect, but one small thing can bring you down so much.

Not to make light of it, but I am finding comfort in a Jay-Z tune. "Dirt off Your Shoulder"… edited version for the kiddies out there.. "If you're feeling like a pimp, go on brush your shoulder off"…

I'm feeling good in other areas, I just need to brush off my shoulder and this feeling of rejection and realize my time on earth is short. I have plenty of amazing friends and it's not my loss, nor anybody's…

Ethan Feeling

Maybe sitting in the sun for 6 hours Saturday at my sisters graduation ceremony bleached my brain a bit. But I noticed something very different about my graduation commencement and my sister's.

Mine some how was only just over an hour with 900+ students graduation from the Institute of Technology at the U. My sisters was maybe 300 students in the whole senior class. No students spoke at the commencement. A few spoke the previous night at baccalaureate. The speeches from the president of the college and from the keynote speaker were no longer than mine were.

The difference is in the introductions. Arne Carlson was my keynot speaker and he maybe got a 20-30 second introduction! Each speaker, even the ones who were just going to be up there for 1-2 minutes announcing an award got 2+ minute introductions, and some were close to 5-7 minutes for the intros.

My problem is that we didnt hear about more than 3-4 students records or lives at school through the few awards that were given. But year in and year out these same professors run the same commencement but with different students. The introductions don't get shorter, only longer if they had some qualifying event that last year. I started to forget who was graduating and who the commencement was for.. It was for the students who toiled and worked hard for their degrees, for the parents who supported those students in many ways, financially, spiritually and other ways.

In the moment, what that person did 20 years ago in a small lab or which small magazine they were published in 10 years ago, doesn't make one bit of a difference to me, I was there to see my sister get her diploma and experience a great sendoff speech, which it was. But I wasn't there for 45+ minutes of introrductions of people to boost some egos. I can't stand this.

How can you teach humbleness to students, when their last experience at college is over-praising professors and presidents? The academia world puzzles me… It makes me struggle…

Ethan Surprise Me

I used to go on family trips and be bogged down with the comment… "Ethan, did you get your homework done?" Or I would say, I can't go to a movie after dinner, I have a lot of web work to do.

This weekend was different than all of those times. No school (not for over 2 years) no homework for work! No agenda, but to be with my family.

The little one graduated college.. They actually gave her a diploma! Congrats Lex. Changing schools, friends after sophomore year and a whole other multitude of challenges were thrown at her and she stood firm and tall through them all and I am really proud of her.

I played a little golf with some of my buddies out there and their dad's. We got beat pretty bad, the dads played their best ever at the same time!

I was able to finish reading some books I had started a long time ago, House of Bush House of Saud was one of them.. Don't worry I am not getting all Michael Moore'ish, W is still my guy, but I really enjoy the pursuit of knowledge and I feel there are things about American government that need to change and the public needs to know a little more than the cover stories you see on a CNN news ticker…

Have a busy week this week. Young Life golf fundraiser today, still time to sponsor me!! Young Life Tuesday, Snow Patrol concert with R on Wednesday and wedding stuff for my cousin, Thursday, Friday, Saturday! I'll be napping on Sunday.

Ethan Daily