Get Wrecked
I've often heard the term; "I started a relationship with Jesus and my life has never been better…"
I've also heard this; "I started a relationship with Jesus and it wrecked my life!!! And there hasn't been a better thing to happen to me!"
I guess I have always taken the fact that the first phrase is what everybody should experience and that the second phrase is something somebody came up with for the sake of a sermon or something.
Well, that was before my life has been "wrecked" by my relationship with Jesus…
I was thinking last night… If I give up everything, give God control of it all? Is he really going
to just build from there? As of lately I don't think so. Why would he use the junk that is in your life to remodel? There is a key story in the Sermon on the Mount. About building your house on the rock and not like the fool who builds on the sand. I think that once you decide that you want the life on the rock. You eventually get there. But all the parts of your life that kept you on that sand built property need to go, and clinging onto them is what makes the transition to the rock difficult. Once those parts come crashing down on you making room for you to build a new house on the rock. Thats where it hurts and where the "wreckage" happens. In the sermon on the Mount, Jesus says that the storms come for both who are on the sand and the rock.. I also believe that it happens on the journey from the sand to the rock.
This is where I can relate it to 2 other things.
One is that when some forests endure great damage in our eyes, trees burned, blown over from high winds and everything (except arson related fires). We think it is a shame, but it is natures way of running her cycle to retain longevity and sustain its beauty. And then the forest will become beautiful once again.
The other is from John 15 and the concept of pruning. When workers in the vineyards prune the vines. It isnt to kill some of the vines, but it is to allow the vines to become more fruitful, creating a better environment for them to succeed and grow.
So I am in a process of being "wrecked". I have kept a pretty firm stature during the deal. But I assumed it was a down season and things would turn. Well, I haven't seen a turn until I have accepted that this is that process of pruning areas of my life.
Almost 4 months ago I quit drinking alcohol. Not just because sometimes it gets out of hand, but because it was a cause of darkness that was keeping me chained on the sand. I had been reading Ephesians 5:8-10. I started to explore the idea of exposing darkness to light.
8 For you were once darkness, but now you are light in the Lord. Live as children of light
9 (for the fruit of the light consists in all goodness, righteousness and truth)
10 and find out what pleases the Lord.
11 Have nothing to do with the fruitless deeds of darkness, but rather expose them.
12 For it is shameful even to mention what the disobedient do in secret.
13 But everything exposed by the light becomes visible,
14 for it is light that makes everything visible. This is why it is said: “Wake up, O sleeper, rise from the dead, and Christ will shine on you.�
It says the only way for me to fix the situation was to expose it to the light and act on it. Give it to God and he will make it light and make it visible by shining his light on you.
So the first steps and the last 4 months have been hard and hurtful in many ways. As I am trying to live on this new journey God has led me on, I have found I cannot do all and experience all I was accustomed to. Friday nights and Saturday nights meant out for dinner and maybe out for drinks or something like that. I had to cut myself off from that for a period of time, which is still going, so I can rid myself of the darkenss that followed me in that scene. That has had a substantial negative affect on a lot of friendships. Not spending time with people tends to make you drift a little but in your friendships. Also there was that void i felt that alcohol was filling that I thought I needed to fill so there was pain in the withdrawl of that and seeing that scene so intertwined in your daily life and routine also does a number on you.
So each piece I have given over and some I have started to give over are coming crashing down on me initially. But after time I start to realize that it was part of his plan to rebuild me into what he desires me to be, not what I desire.
I choose to let my life get wrecked, because I want to stop the patch work that made me believe I was always on the rock. I need my life to get wrecked. I need to start anew. "For every man who is in Christ is a new creation, the old has gone and the new has come." I know a lot of things, I have been blessed with a brilliant mind. But I am starting to realize I don't know how to rebuild a life. I dont know how to fix it. I do know that God knows that stuff. Afterall, he did create us and always has our best interests in mind, even if we sometimes disagree.
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