Living Rarefied

Ok, it just snowed outside for 3 minutes. Amazing, surprising it can snow as late in April as you can get…

I was just surprised that we are having a family reunion on Sunday of Memorial weekend. Can't say I am stoked about the timing. I always love going to the cabin that weekend. I am excited to have the family together, sisters back in town is always good.

I have had a huge surprise this week and through this whole process. I am not quite at liberty to share, but will continue to be excited about it.

I have been surprised on the quickness of a few responses from friends to sponsor me in the Young Life golf fundraiser we are having in a few weeks. We're talking record turnaround time. Some amazing amounts as well. Thank you God for blessing your ministries!

Ethan Living Rarefied

Today I am reminded of my week in El Salvador for many reasons. I was able to see Jose and Monica from World Vision on Sunday at a BBQ before church.
I remembered the week of El Salvador, how amazing the community was who traveled with me. I remembered the kids laughing, playing with bubbles, crowding around a
Polaroid camera, the father at the site I worked at, how hard he was working and how proud he was to help build the house that will put a roof over his family.

That week was filled with emotions.. Good and bad. It was really the first time I had been bombarded with all sorts of emotions pushing and pulling each other.
Not everything was in sync.

• I felt happiness when I was with the kids and they were smiling and laughing from the simplicity of seeing themselves in a Polaroid photo.
• I felt frustrations because I got sick from the food and couldn't keep things in my system. Frustration because I wanted to work hard, play hard with the kids
  and my body kept me from participating at 100%.
• I felt guilt because of my life back here, living it up, gathering possesions and trying to find ways to be happy yet
  I was not. Every road I turned to shortly dried up of opportunity.
• I felt sad that I would leave our friends from El Salvador and would return to life as normal.
• I felt selfish that I got to go on the trip.
• I felt joy in seeing friendships grow and finding new ones sprout up.
• I felt small in the world I live in daily. Not knowing the extent of life in other areas of the world. Especially in the part of the world where Manuel Amadeo Rodriguez lives.

The list can go on and on…

This last month I have been sick, physically, with a cold/sore-throat/allergies/headaches… I have been struggling with some close relationships,
struggling with sleep and time management…

Because I have been sick, I have been on a good amount of OTC drugs. Sudafed Cold & Sinus, Drixoral Cold & Sinus, Claritin, NyQuil,
you name it, there is probably some in me. All the medicine has put me in the middle somewhere, not feeling 100%, but not feeling 0%. Just kind of numb. This month I have been numb from
the medicine but have realized I have slowly been numbing more and more since last August. So I have been going through my days not truly knowing if i am hurting or if I am having a great day.
There are good days and bad days but they are measured from my mind, not my heart. My mind can easily lie to myself and others.

I do think I am having great days. I believe I am in a
good spot now. The stress I used to carry has almost dried up, and I am making a conscious effort not to pick up any more. I'm an optimist, which is great but can sometimes hurt because I
end up lying to myself about how I am doing.

I want to feel again.

Ethan Surprise Me, testing

I loved today…

No agenda, work as usual, but no hangups or slowdowns. My work over the weekend was a success as we carried out our daily routine today. I was just glad to be able to move forward with other projects at work and not have to focus on reworking old items.

Lunch with our cabinet chair for Young Life, talked about our excitements for this summer and all the students we have coming to camp… Also about how I am so excited for my sister Alexis to join me in this ministry God has me involved with. She bought me my new favorite Caribou. Mint Condition… Only 10 cents more than a mocha, but at least 2 times as good. My buddies over at the Caribou on Excelsior and 100 will be confused when I go in there tomorrow.

BBQ'd with some friends and hung out watching the new episode of 24. There were tons of surprises there, but they weren't mine.

Just happy that a simple day can be so rewarding. Just trying to not get ahead of myself and enjoy the moments I am in. I fail to meet my expectations too often when I plan ahead to far or play out situations, relationships in my head and how they may unfold. Unecessary stress, I just want to be present with those I am with. That's what matters…

Ethan Living Rarefied

Even though I had to work on a Saturday morning, it was a pretty good one. One of those do whatever days, no specific agenda during the afternoon, something in the morning and something at night, but the rest is for you.

I went to the Maroon 5 concert at night. The Thrills opened for them. The concert was great. Both bands played well and there was a lot of energy in the arena.

When I got home I noticed a huge difference in the bands I like. One way in particular is the level of appreciation or lack there of.

OK, here's the deal, I have always had a problem with encores.

A few years ago I was at a Simon and Garfunkel concert at the Xcel Center. They played like 3 encores? And each time before they got back out there, they spent 5-10 minutes waving at the crowd saying thank you. Now I know they are legends in music. I know they deserve a standing ovation and everything. But these encores were planned. Seeing Art Garfunkel up there soaking it in, I started to believe that these encore moments are why he lives. He was being a drama queen and if it weren't for him, the clapping and cheering maybe would've lasted 30 seconds before they played a few more songs. Paul Simon was very chill, it was almost as if he was so comfortable in his spot, he would've been fine without the excessive cheering. So 40 minutes later, filled with maybe 3 songs and 32 minutes of Art Garfunkel praise time, the show finally ended.

A super cool dude named Bebo forever changed my view on the musical encore. He said something like I am only going to play a few more songs and wont be doing an encore. He said he is so appreciative of where he is that he doesn't want anybody to praise him for the songs of the night, the praise shouldn't go to him. But to his Lord and Savior. He took a small crack in a light hearthed manner at those who do encores for the sake of their egos being hungry.

Now last night, I am not saying Maroon 5 is one of those need their egos lifted groups. They're doing pretty well for themselves, but my thoughts on this were triggered on the way in. People from Cities 97 were passing out sheets of paper with the setlists on them, all of them were very similar and it was textbook. There was listed the main set and at the bottom, Encore… Each of them had She Will Be Loved as their last song.

The Thrills…
Its very cool to see these opening acts who aren't necessarily nobodies, but they are so appreciative to be playing in front of a 16,000 person crowd (minus a few who only show up for the main act). But they are very thankful and just happy to have the chance to open.

I was happy for them too. . They were awesome! They sold 2 more CD's today on iTunes…

Ethan testing

This week finished strong! Thank you God!

I was able to spend some time with some of the older guys from Young Life.. I hadn't been able to connect with them as much as I would have liked this year because of a ton of other new young pups coming to hang out with us. The previous 2 years was me and these 2 guys, all the time! I was able to spend more time with them, focus on them and really get to know them… But this year it has been difficult to keep that going and I have realized it on days like Thursday when I get a chance to be with them. You realize there is new stuff going on that you had no idea about, girfriends, new sports, etc. So I got a chance to go to one of these new sports events thursday night.

Ultimate Frisbee.. Oh yes, it is a HS sport, although not a varsity sport, but a club sport. I joined about 40 other spectators to watch Breck/Blake play Eden Prairie… Rivals Breck and Blake had to form one team becuase they couldn't fill a team alone. Sitting outside was wonderful, but making to the first sporting event my buddy took part in, was even better. I had been to almost all of his plays and dramas but never to a track meet.

Friday, I was able to have a great day at the office and out of the office. Some of our brokers were in town from Chicago, so they took us and a client out to Rush Creek to play golf for the day and have dinner at the Hard Rock. But, the way the day was started set the tone for a great day of fun.

Fridays, I show up to Perkins on 394 and Louisiana. I invite any of the guys who come to YL and their friends to join me. So far, I haven't eaten by myself which is cool, but I thought I was almost going to have my first solo mission yesterday. But one of the sophomore guys called and asked who was coming, I didnt know, thats what I like about it, kind of a surprise who comes. I have a general idea, but when it comes to waking up at 6:00 as a high schooler, things change right at game time often.

We had a great time, I was able to ask him some questions about what he thinks of what we do with YL, what he wants to get out of YL, what his vision for YL at his school was. Along with some other questions. The cool thing is that my YL leader Brad asked me these same questions 9 years ago. He challenged me and some friends to take it up a notch in the school, to invite those you didn't expect to ever come to YL. We went from 40 kids to over 100 about a year later. It was cool to see that from a group of 6 students, working with the same goal in mind could make a change like that. (With the help of our Father)

Off to work, where I had 1 task to do, price out a fund from a secondary source to benchmark our pricing… I got that done right at 9:45 and it was off to the golf course.. Now it was cloudy and 45 degrees yesterday with gusts over 30 mph.. Not a pretty day to go golfing, but they say the worst day on the golf course is always better than the best day in the office. I believe it.

Good day at the course with Tim and Jim from my office, I didnt play all that great, first time since Thanksgiving in California. We then headed to Hard Rock Cafe downtown, but I had a stop to make first. I had to get a backup of a database for a fund we are taking over. Which is why I am here in the office on Saturday morning. I felt like I was in a movie, stopping to get data and then I slid it into my backpack and went to dinner like nothing happened. Kind of like Ethan Hunt in Mission Impossible. Dinner was sweet, got to talk with people I hadn't seen in awhile and meet faces to match those voices and email addresses I encounter on a daily basis.

I then went home to watch a movie, Kill Bill 2. I have a bit of a cold still and being outside yesterday took a lot of energy out of me! So I was content watching a movie and getting to bed by 10:30..

Tonight I am off to Maroon 5 at the Xcel! Got the tickets a few months ago and forgot about it until 2 weeks ago, so I am very excited!!!

What a good week…

Ethan Living Rarefied

I feel like I have been on a good run with some cool things happening. Compared to those days I guess today was a slow one. I got to spend time with a friend over lunch. Nothing surprising there since I know and expect to have a good time and grow from our conversations. It almost didn't happen though…

So I have had some car problems, rattling/creaking noises at low speeds. So I just drove fast so I wouldn't hear them. But then I remembered that there was a recall issued back in November. What is it April? So 5 months after the issue, I decide to take them up on the offer. But I had no idea if the recall was going to fix the problem.. They also found a bad smell when the car is moving. I haven't smelled anything this whole month, allergies/colds… SO that was news to me, so I had them fix it.

I was kind of down in the morning. I thought I was going to be paying an arm and a leg for the work. The recall said not all of it is covered by the dealership. I was expecting somewhere like 300-1000 dollars..

Then I get a call from my friend to do lunch. Exception, he didn't have a car today so I had to meet him. No problem for me. Until I wrapped things up to leave and realized my car was at the dealership. Luckily he had a fairly open day so we waited until my car was done. Then I met up with him for a late lunch at Quizno's Steak dip sandwich is a must.. Go get one for lunch today!

The cool part of the day was when I went to the register, pulled out my credit card waiting for the bad news… The lady said… "Huh, seems to be no charge for you today…" Covered under warranty… Exact opposite of what I thought warranties were before, they cover a little, but when it is time for the work to be done, there is a loophole and you owe a lot of money.

Lunch was good, afternoon was good, although I was only thinking of 5:00 when I could get out of there and head to the golf course. I opted for that insead of the lakes.. Forgot my iPod so I couldn't jam while I practiced.

Then my buddy Reid and some other friends got together for his birthday at McCoy's, he is the big 21 this year. Good times sharing the night with him and the others.

So my day got progressively better, all the way until the ultimate and my favorite thing to do… Sleep…

Good night…

Ethan Living Rarefied

Anybody read "Tuesdays with Morrie"? Its a great book. A sports writer spends each Tuesday with an old man named Morrie and they share stories, mostly Morrie.

I think we all need to have a Morrie in our lives. I think that during this time of the Surprise Me Experience, I call it that because I don't completely like the idea of testing that the word "experiment" carries along with it. But during this time I am being revealed short stories from Jesus through people I come in contact with. Things that happen during my day also keep the ongoing conversations with Jesus.

Today was one of those days you didnt want to go to work. Just wanted to stay at home and lounge. I woke up with another sore throat today, worst than the 1st time I was sick this month. But during the day, God started getting me fired up and tapping me on the shoulder saying, "Now do you still want to be at home in bed?" and another bit of news "How about now?"

Today I got an email from the Young Life office telling me we had another student sign up for summer camp! Going from 5 kids in 2002, 2 kids in 2003, 1 kid in 2004 to 8 kids and possibly a few more in 2005!! It shows that God is in this ministry and is reaching these kids through whatever chaos I bring to the table from Him.

Then at club, we had the most guys that have ever showed up! We played some bball afterwards and it was a good time. I was on the non-freshman team, I think we won?

Met my buddy Dave for his birthday after that, he's old. Another birthday tomorrow for my man Faith Gambler. Busy week!

My M.O.. this week is get healthy…

Ethan Living Rarefied

So I actually dragged myself out of my house to go running tonight. As I pulled up to Lake Calhoun I was on the phone with my bud Rob, talking geek stuff. I have been helping them with their home network. I see my pal driving by in his new ride with the bike on top. Quickly I rolled down the window to yell to him to stop and pull over.

We probably spent 20 minutes or so chatting, maybe more. I was totally fine with it. I'm lazy, but friends come first right?? We shared some things about the weekend and things about our family's faith background and how we think it shaped us. We talked about community and the importance of it. But just as important, taking a step and wanting community, not just being a piece of the community because it is there. We talked about the friends we have been seeking out to spend more focused time with. The guys we want to take the next step in becoming one with…

I liked this surprise for a lot more than the fact God helped me procrastinate. I was able to check in with a pal who we haven't had the solo time with each other in awhile. I was able to have some great thoughts and feelings as I started my run around the Lake that has so many distractions, people, dogs, frisbees, cars, motorcycles, stereos…

After my run I need to go to a friends house to help him with something. But as I stretched in the grass, I was blasting David Crowder Band's new album Sunsets and Sushi. It was right in my face, I sat there, watching the hustle and bustle of people around the lake… I don't know if it is the combination of the beats from the music and the speed of the people. But I felt like I was making my own little montage video… Remembering the title of a book David Crowder wrote… "Praise Habit: Finding God in Sunsets And Sushi" I sat there and felt so glad to be where I was at that moment, so glad to be where I am in life right now. Finding God in Runners and Walkers @ the LC… That is the title of my story today. It felt so good to sit there by myself rocking out to DCB and just letting life soak in.. I am gonna do it again Wednesday!! Who wants to join me!

Ethan Living Rarefied

So I am sitting here, late Sunday night recollecting my weekend. It was an amazing weekend. Almost too much for typed words in this blog.

Jesus revealed himself to me 2 times this weekend. Once in the form of a 6 year old friend of mine, and once again in the form of a 62 year old man. It was definately not a life changing experience, well it will be life changing because it is part of my journey, but not an instant change.

He said hello by showing me how simple life needs to be lived. The 6 year old I have always loved.. Always thought he was such a stud, but honestly never thought much more than he was just a good friend and we were buddies… Last night he showed up at the Prom 2005 party my friends threw… I think the average age at the party was in the mid to high 20's. Throw a 6 year old in the mix and you would think he would be bugging his dad to leave asap. That was not the case. He was mingling, hanging with us on the dance floor, I mean he was on the verge of breaking out his own sweet dance moves.

We had a game that we were playing, I guess in the mind of my buddy, it was a game. I made a joke about him having one point for something and his dad having zero. So about 20 minutes later he just asked me what the score of the game was? Between him and his dad… I was confused but decided I was going to take the trip into the mind of a 6 year old. So I made up some points, he beat his dad in arm wrestling so he got a thousand points and his dad got -100. His dad was dancing goofy so when my buddy pointed it out, he scored some more points. There were no rules, just fun, just being in the moment.

Then this morning I went over to their house to do a little "Geek Work" and set up their wireless home network. We had breakfast and put a puzzle of Shrek, Fiona and Donkey together, he showed me his swords from Star Wars, a bunch of other random stuff.. Then it came time for me to get to work, he just followed me around, asked what I was doing and so I attempted to tell him about how the routers, network cards communicate and why they needed to. I related it somehow to baseball so he could understand. I guess it was pretty comical… I was explaining to a 6 year old, things I sometimes don't understand.

Throughout all of the time we spent together this weekend, not once did I notice him say, "oh man, I have to go to school this week" Or "I wonder where I will be in 3 months or 5 years?"… I started to realize that I envied the simplicity of a 6 year old's life. My buddy is living day by day, minute by minute… There are great times, and there are tough times, but to him it seems that each is an individual episode, completely independent of each other. In my life, it seems as I compound so many things, problems in a relationship and problems in my finances, I bundle them together and stress about when they will be done or taken care of. I make things more complicated than they are. They are all indepentent episodes of life and I need to take them one at a time.

I started to realize this early this afternoon. I was so happy, smiles, singing in my car to get coffee, on the way to Upper Room. I felt like I was glowing/beaming!

As the day was winding down, after the Dave Barnes Upper Room concert at Ikasu, I decided to say hi/bye to a friend. It ended up being a hi, here meet this person and hang out for a bit. I am very glad I did. Jesus wasn't asleep yet for the day. He said hello again.

My friend had told me about this friend of his who in his words "lives it". And I sit here now saying I have never chatted with somebody, shared our stories with each other, who "lives it" like this guy. It was like everything I have gone through leading up to today April 17th 2005, everything I have been thinking about, trying to live like was echoed in his dicsussion with me. We talked about ministries, how I am involved as a volunteer with Young Life, the camping experiences. I told him I was headed to Frontier in 2 months in Colorado, he responded back with, Oh, I was there in 1957 when I was 15. He was on staff with Young Life for awhile and echoed every question and answer I have had about my place in YL right now.

His life although difficult at times, has been led by his heart and has been in my eyes, simple. He has followed the spirit in small steps. They seemed big to me. Moving from country to country, spending 10 years in a new place and then just picking up and moving onto a new home. I struggle with leaving the comforts of the Metro area for too long. I asked him how you can be at peace with all of the change and how it doesn't seem simple to me. All the moves and new locations seems more complex to me. He said something that knocked me off my rocker, right inline about my thoughts of living like my 6 year old buddy.

In the big picture it looks like it is complex, busy, but he said he's taken it one step at a time and been in complete trust that where he is and where he will go is where the Lord wants him at that present time. Simple is the one word that comes out of my weekend. He also pinned the tail on the donkeys on some other things that have been on my heart. Dead on…

I have been trying to peel away some complexities in my life. Some are perceiving it as me avoiding them or finding new things to do. But as I am trying to find my way in my journey, the theme of simplicity has been all over, all around me. I have always felt inside, if I participate in enough things, hang out with as many people as I can, get involded as much as I can, a few of them will hit the target and I will grow from that. But that was my agenda. That is how I thought I was going to get it done. I've been following my heart and trying not to feel selfish of my time for others.

But this weekend Jesus said hello to me… He also said, life is beautiful and can be crazy, but it is much more rewarding when you keep it simple.

Ethan Living Rarefied, testing

Woke up very early today to meet some guys from my Young Life group for breakfast at Perkins. Good times with them, I couldn't believe how fast our food came, like 3 minutes after we ordered! We had the same server we had all of last year, she's good. I mean about a month ago we had somebody else and the food never came until 50 minutes later, the guys almost missed school.

Ethan Living Rarefied