Living Rarefied

So here I am digesting the events of the last year and seeing how different experiences have affected me. Upon my return from Colorado, I slipped right back into the monotonous life of waking up, going to work, coming home, maybe BBQ with Dover and Chuck, or go play Frisbee golf with some YL students if it was Monday. If it was Tuesday, I would peel out to go to Kickball league for a few hours (We Suck @ 4-Square, CSC Spring 2004 League Champions) I had to plug that. But it was boring and the same routine and I started to question the path of life I was living. It all was wrapped around work. Now, I completely understand that I have to make money to survive, so I am not saying that work is all bad. It was just where my focus was at that was beginning to be a problem. I would talk to people in other companies, and even other industries. I would ask how they liked their jobs, what their hours were and then a final question that I had decided would be the biggest part of any new job I would like to take. I would ask them if they have homework.

This was a big deal to me. I hated coming home from work and not being able to let it go or check it at the door when I left the office. The stress I carried with me in social situations was killing me. It affected me around others, I was always down, conversations that started with how’s work? often ended hours later with only a headache and a bored friend to show for it.

A humorous side note to this came from my career counselor. We went over some test results about my characteristics and preferences in the work place. In addition to that she asked some more personal questions about my life outside of work. Girlfriend? Nope. What do you enjoy doing outside of work? 3 things were listed; Young Life, golf and BBQ’n with friends (it was around the time of the purchase of my new Weber Grill). After a few more simple questions, friends, family, exercise, etc. She freaked out! In her own words “If you don’t cut something out of your life you are going to lose it. One of these days you are going to snap!!” Yes she used the word snap!

So I had to cut something out quick so I wouldn’t snap Now I was stressed out, but I didn’t think I would be at work and start throwing my monitors around and slamming my desk with the keyboard. Nor was I going to be in the middle of a Young Life club talk and go bonkers there in front of my young friends.

The great part is this. She started to tell me I needed to cut back my hours. Also she had instructed me to start saying no. For those of you who know me well, I am a people pleaser. I am the complete opposite of David Spade in the Capital One commercials. He repeats no all day, I was saying yes all day. Everything else between him and I are so close we get mixed up all the time, humor, blond hair Well that’s about it. I was intrigued as it was my company who sent me there to explore what might make me a satisfied employee. I took her up on it. Exception (Vikings). But saying no felt good. I still said yes to tasks but only to the point where it was actually capable of being completed. I stopped over promising, and had more realistic timelines for myself. I found if you say yes to everything, the work grows exponentially because everybody knows you’ll say yes.

I was making a change.. I would later fall back again and take on a huge responsibility on the Vikings site but I am only human and can’t be perfect! I knew all along I needed a change, but was afraid to make it. Having a bi-weekly paycheck to pay for the things I am used to was too important to wager a drastic change in that part of my life.

I was given a book by Rebecca titled If you want to walk on water, you have to get out of the boat. I so dearly wanted to walk on water and make that leap, but I was terrified of leaving my comfort zone. I love my comfort zones. Similar to that first phone call to a girl you are interested in. I am always praying for voice mail. That way should she decide to call you back, your nerves aren’t all wrapped up in a twisted sense of terror and you can be yourself when she calls back because you aren’t expecting it. Guys, feel free to use that theory, let me know how it goes I’d love to see if it really works or if I just think it does.

OK, back to my point in this last idea of stepping out of the boat. I didn’t say I have read it, I was only loaned the book. I am terrified to read it. I don’t read much and last spring I started to read a book like that called back of the book says this “Warning: This Book May Not Be for You!” and then the intro says “This book is dangerous! It is only for those who are ready to join an uprising…” Well I got my uprising alright. I still haven’t completed that book yet. I feel like I need a whole weekend and part of the next week blocked off for all the writing it will make me do. For now, I think I only needed to be in possession of the get out of the boat book. Seeing it on my dresser everyday for the last 3 months has really engraved it into my memory. I have come to the conclusion that we all want to get out of the boat and make a change. But the boat is a safe haven when the wind blows and the waves toss us around. But then I thought if we are waiting in the boat to get somewhere, once we get to the places we are headed, we will have to get out of the boat anyways. So why not jump off the minute you have an urge and truly feel a calling to make a move? I guess we can’t all be jumping off of the boat with each urge we have, but I think we can all be a little more aggressive.

So before I get everybody in trouble at work for the time spent reading this or before I put everybody to sleep. Here are my challenges thoughts from this chapter of my story.

1. Where in our lives are we clinching so tightly to the mast of the boat?
2. Why do we sometimes feel like we have to wait for God’s will to hit us in the face before making a decision, translated into waiting for him to push us out of the boat. Instead of listening to him out in the water calling us out of the boat and to trust him and have faith that we won’t sink or be tossed by the waves we encounter daily?
3. If we act in faith, is it really ever going to be that rough of waters? Or can our minds make it up to be more than it really is? (I know mine can, I don’t think I am alone.)
4. Isn’t life in the boat boring? (I relate this to doing the same routine over and over)
5. Wouldn’t life in the water and waves be more fun? Especially knowing God is there with you? (I can’t think of anybody else I would want out there with me.)
6. What are parts of your story where you got out of the boat?
7. Were you in full faith for the decision?
8. What was the outcome?

I encourage you to share your thoughts in the comments area of this post if you feel comfortable. I think we can all learn from others thoughts and situations regarding this topic. If you are reading this and would like to post a comment and are not a current contributor.. Email me at ottelei@gmail.com

Until the time ahead where we cross paths, enjoy life and test the waters around the boat and see what life is like out of your comfort zone.

-E-

Ethan testing

First off, I have been asked by a few friends what my definition of rarefied is.

It is similar to the definition in my first post. Hopefully this weeks writings will help clarify it… One thing I will say is that it is a very wide and open definition and is up to you on how you want to close the definition.

In a quick few sentences. My definition is that anything can rarefied. It’s all about putting a positive spin on something and going above and beyond what is expected or what the norm is. Being ‘lofty’ about subjects, not with a sense of arrogance, but with a sense of style.

One thing I can try to relate it to is in a simple analagy to snowboarding terminology. With the ESPN X-Games just completed this week, I remember watching last year and the big trick was a ‘Stoney Baloney 360′ (we’ll call it the SB-360). Riders are now linking back to back 1080’s in the super pipes and kind of makes the difficulty of a 360 or even a reason to pull a 360 obsolete. Judges like the big airs, big spins and big style. The SB-360 and its simplicity is absolutely amazing. This trick only has 2 of the previous criteria I listed before, lacking the big spin criteria. A SB-360 is a simple 360 in which you freeze from the second you launch until the second you land. It creates an optical illusion of slow motion but is happening at real-time speed. If I had to watch a SB-360 or a corked 1080 side by side, I would opt for the SB-360, I mean I could watch that trick all day long! It’s pretty sweet. The SB-360 has major style, even in its simplistic nature. It is also a huge air, the rider can focus on amplitude since they aren’t focusing on much else.

So my analagy lies in the story from last week. I feel like sometimes life tells us we need to be pulling 1080 spins all day long or else we wont reach our goals, be successful, win the competition. But when I strive for that like the Viking’s website project, although the project was a success, I feel like I came up short, or took a fall as I didnt feel the reward was there for such an effort. But the small things, like my mountaintop experience last summer and many more stories from this past year are like the ‘Stoney Baloney 360′, simple yet extremely rewarding and beautiful.

So my new idea for this week came from a quote I heard at the Upper Room 2 weeks ago during the iWant topic. Nathan Dungan had said he heard a 12 year old say “Why can’t we just be happy with what we have?”. I love that quote, and I have tried over the last year to accept that in where I am financially and possesionally (I made that word up, feel free to start using it). As I started to break that quote down, the word I struggle with is “JUST”. If we are striving for a level of contentness in dealing with possesions and other things we have in life (relationships, jobs, etc.) , I think we need to take another look at things from a different angle.

Here’s another definition…
con·tent (kan-tÄ•nt’) adj.
1) Desiring no more than what one has; satisfied.
2) Ready to accept or acquiesce; willing: She was content to step down after four years as chief executive.

I think this is great! But if I break it down, “what one has” is very different for me and you and for you and friends at work or family. Why are some people so fortunate to have “more” in society’s eyes than others? If we are supposed to be content with what we have, why did the good Lord bless me with less than Bill Gates? How can I be content know he will always have cooler gadgets than me. OK, that’s extreme, but if I go to the other extreme, how can I not be content with what I have compared to our friends we met in El Salvador. Something as simple and archaic as a Polaroid camera was so amazing to them, but to us they are nothing more than a novelty. Everything has to be megapixels and more megapixels!!

So there is a huge spectrum of people and the things they have been blessed with. I dont believe that it is bad to have a lot of things or to not have a lot of things. But I start to disagree with google’s definition of “content” as something we are supposed to strive for. Honestly, imagine a world where everbody from the poorest of the poor to the richest of the rich were “just happy” with what they had and didnt desire more. Part of that is beautiful, but part of it is lacking something. It is lacking action. I would like to use the verb tense of this blog’s title and rarefy the definition of “content”.

Rarefied definition:
con·tent (kan-tÄ•nt’) adj.
1) Desiring no more than what one has; excited about what you have and how you can put it to use.

The rich fool in the Bible had many possesions, he built more storage facilities to store up his crops, the crops werent being used but he wanted to store them up for later use. If all we do is gather possessions for later use what good is that going to do for us now, for others we come into contact with. I caught myself a week ago in the exact same situation as the rich fool. A few weeks ago I purchased the new Mac Mini, finally an Apple I can afford. But I have this great software for video editing called Final Cut Pro. I am very excited to finally use it without having to go to my parents and use their Apple and bring all my video/music gear over there. I found myself looking into an external hard drive to store all of the video files I was going to have. I wanted to have the 500GB drive in case I needed it down the road, to make sure i had enough space should the time come that I need it. Great resoning huh? Same situation just a couple thousand years later and different except I was storing up data and his was food.

I laughed at myself because I had seen a similar situation around christmas at Galyan’s. They had a huge sale and I heard this kid tell his dad the reasons they needed to buy up paintball equipment. “Dad, they wont be 50% off in a few months so we better get it now while it is cheaper.” The dad responded, but we dont need it, we don’t play paintball and I will not let you play paintball until you are quite a bit older. The kid replied back, “but it is cheap now, we should get it now!” I chuckled because I would like to see all the times I was shopping with my parents and used that reasoning. I was probably very annoying to them.

So I guess this wasn’t exactly in a chronological order of events leading up to where I am today, but it is part of me, and always has been part of me. It is one of my top 5 struggles, greed has me wrapped up.

My challenge/questions for the week are as follows:

• Is this truly something we want to follow?
• How can we hold each other accountable for making this transition?
• What are some obstacles in our way?
• What are some things we can be doing right now with things we have been blessed with?
• How will this affect my outlook on life/jobs/friends?
• Is Ethan crazy?
• How is Ethan going to pay me back for the time spent reading this?

Here’s a shameless plug. With my multiple computers, some call it the computer lab, I have been helping out a friend with his website over the past few weeks. I originally figured it would be an easy job and be a quick payday. After some prayer and struggles I came to the conclusion that after all the work I am putting in, it began to seem selfish to worry about the money from my friend. I was once in his shoes as a student and money is tight. I felt God calling on me saying, I’ve blessed you with a weakness for computers and given you some skills in programming. Stop using it for yourself… Stop storing up these programs, and start using them. Start focusing your technical skills for good, instead of focusing on the money it could return. I dont want this to sound like I am offering free websites for everybody. But sometimes we need to make exceptions… (www.bjorkostrom.com)

I know it is a daily struggle for me. You’ve probably seen my gadgets, computers, technology, shoes, t-shirts… The list goes on of things I just can’t seem to have enough of, and I am trying to make the transition but contantly fall down. I just have to pick myself up, talk to God, talk with friends, and work it out and learn from each mistake.

Thanks for the comments in person and in the comment area of each post. I am still getting used to sharing parts of my life with mass quantities that aren’t HS kids with short attention spans.

until next time, keep it rarefied…

-Ethan

Ethan Life Journey